Канал: Twain Mark's Short Jokes

What did the elf learn in school?

What did the elf learn in school?

How does the moon cut his hair?

How does the moon cut his hair?

How do you get a squirrel to like you?

How do you get a squirrel to like you?

What kind of chicken is the funniest?

What kind of chicken is the funniest?

Why do vampires seem sick?

Why do vampires seem sick?

What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?

What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?

What kind of pizza do dogs eat?

What kind of pizza do dogs eat?

How are false teeth like stars?

How are false teeth like stars?

Why was the student’s report card wet?

Why was the student’s report card wet?

What do Olympic sprinters eat before a race?

What do Olympic sprinters eat before a race?

How many months have 28 days?

How many months have 28 days?

Why was the broom late to school?

Why was the broom late to school?

What kind of nut doesn’t like money?

What kind of nut doesn’t like money?

What do you call a ghost’s true love?

What do you call a ghost’s true love?

How do you talk to a giant?

How do you talk to a giant?

Why did the God of Thunder need to stretch his leg muscles so much as a kid?

Why did the God of Thunder need to stretch his leg muscles so much as a kid?

Why did the computer get sick?

Why did the computer get sick?

What falls in winter but never gets hurt?

What falls in winter but never gets hurt?

What did the bald man say when he received a comb for his birthday?

What did the bald man say when he received a comb for his birthday?

What’s a snake’s favorite subject in school?

What’s a snake’s favorite subject in school?

Why did the banana visit the doctor?

Why did the banana visit the doctor?

Who eats snails?

Who eats snails?

What did the bathtub say to the toilet?

What did the bathtub say to the toilet?

How much does it cost a pirateto get his ears pierced?

How much does it cost a pirateto get his ears pierced?

What did the ghost call his Mum and Dad?

What did the ghost call his Mum and Dad?

What kind of music do mummies listen to?

What kind of music do mummies listen to?

Did you hear the joke about the roof?

Did you hear the joke about the roof?

Why did the cookie go to the hospital?

Why did the cookie go to the hospital?

Why did the peanut get into a rocket?

Why did the peanut get into a rocket?

What kind of water cannot freeze?

What kind of water cannot freeze?

Why was the belt arrested?

Why was the belt arrested?

Why are pizza jokes the worst?

Why are pizza jokes the worst?

What do you call cheese that belongs to someone else?

What do you call cheese that belongs to someone else?

What do you call a tired bull?

What do you call a tired bull?

What gets wetter the more it dries?

What gets wetter the more it dries?

What do you call an old snowman?

What do you call an old snowman?

What do you call an old snowman?

What do you call an old snowman?

Why won’t peanut butter tell you a secret?

Why won’t peanut butter tell you a secret?

What board game does the sky love to play?

What board game does the sky love to play?

What is worse than raining cats and dogs?

What is worse than raining cats and dogs?

What do you call a duck that gets good grades?

What do you call a duck that gets good grades?

What kind of keys are sweet?

What kind of keys are sweet?

Why does a seagull fly over the sea?

Why does a seagull fly over the sea?

Why was the baby strawberrycrying?

Why was the baby strawberrycrying?

What do you do if someone rolls their eyes at you?

What do you do if someone rolls their eyes at you?

Why don’t you ever see giraffes in middle school?

Why don’t you ever see giraffes in middle school?

How did the baby tell his mom he had a wet diaper?

How did the baby tell his mom he had a wet diaper?

How did the baby tell his mom he had a wet diaper?

How did the baby tell his mom he had a wet diaper?

What did the Baby Corn say to the Mama Corn?

What did the Baby Corn say to the Mama Corn?

How did Benjamin Franklin feel holding his kite when he discovered electricity?

How did Benjamin Franklin feel holding his kite when he discovered electricity?

How much did the man sell his dead batteries for?

How much did the man sell his dead batteries for?

When does a joke become a “dad” joke?

When does a joke become a “dad” joke?

What fruit do twins love?

What fruit do twins love?

Why do ducks always pay with cash?

Why do ducks always pay with cash?

What’s brown and sticky?

What’s brown and sticky?

What kind of shoes do frogs love?

What kind of shoes do frogs love?

How did the baby tell his mom he had a wet diaper?

How did the baby tell his mom he had a wet diaper?

which way does the smoke blow?

which way does the smoke blow?

How do billboards talk?

How do billboards talk?

What did the limestone say to the geologist?

What did the limestone say to the geologist?

What’s a private investigator’s favorite shoe?

What’s a private investigator’s favorite shoe?

Why are basketball courts always wet?

Why are basketball courts always wet?

Which planet loves to sing?

Which planet loves to sing?

How do you make a lemon drop?

How do you make a lemon drop?

Why can’t you ever trust atoms?

Why can’t you ever trust atoms?

Why did the Daddy Rabbit go to the barber?

Why did the Daddy Rabbit go to the barber?

Where do most horses live?

Where do most horses live?

What goes up and down but doesn’t move?

What goes up and down but doesn’t move?

Why can’t you ever tell a joke around glass?

Why can’t you ever tell a joke around glass?

What kind of math do birds love?

What kind of math do birds love?

What do you call a Star Warsdroid that takes the long way around?

What do you call a Star Warsdroid that takes the long way around?

Why do ducks have feathers on their tails?

Why do ducks have feathers on their tails?

How does a vampirestart a letter?

How does a vampirestart a letter?

A plane crashed in the jungle and every single person died. Who survived?

A plane crashed in the jungle and every single person died. Who survived?

How do you know when a bike is thinking?

How do you know when a bike is thinking?

How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?

How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?

Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel prize?

Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel prize?

Because 7,8(ate),9

Because 7,8(ate),9

What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?

What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?

What did the Dalmatian say after lunch?

What did the Dalmatian say after lunch?

What do you call two bananas on the floor?

What do you call two bananas on the floor?

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

Why is a football stadium always cold

Why is a football stadium always cold

What did one pickle say to the other?

What did one pickle say to the other?

What social events do spiders love to attend?

What social events do spiders love to attend?

Why did the blue jay get in trouble at school?

Why did the blue jay get in trouble at school?

Sandy’s mum has four kids; North, West, East.

Sandy’s mum has four kids; North, West, East.

What is a room with no walls?

What is a room with no walls?

What’s Thanos’ favorite app on his phone?

What’s Thanos’ favorite app on his phone?

Which superhero hits home runs?

Which superhero hits home runs?

What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4k?

What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4k?

What did the lava say to his girlfriend?

What did the lava say to his girlfriend?

Why do birds fly south in the winter?

Why do birds fly south in the winter?

What do you call a guy who's really loud?

What do you call a guy who's really loud?

Relax joke times (2)

Relax joke times (2)

What has ears but cannot hear?

What has ears but cannot hear?

What did the policeman say to his hungry stomach?

What did the policeman say to his hungry stomach?

What did the left eye say to the right eye?

What did the left eye say to the right eye?

What’s a cat’s favorite dessert?

What’s a cat’s favorite dessert?

Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?

Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?

What do you call a couple of chimpanzees sharing an Amazon account?

What do you call a couple of chimpanzees sharing an Amazon account?

What is fast, loud and crunchy?

What is fast, loud and crunchy?

What do birds give out on Halloween?

What do birds give out on Halloween?

Name the kind of tree you can hold in your hand?

Name the kind of tree you can hold in your hand?

What did the ghost call his Mum and Dad?

What did the ghost call his Mum and Dad?

5 Lovely Dad Jokes

5 Lovely Dad Jokes

Why can't you hear a psychologist go to the toilet?

Why can't you hear a psychologist go to the toilet?

"Wanna hear a joke about pizza?"

"Wanna hear a joke about pizza?"

A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of 3

A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of 3

What does a storm cloud wear under his raincoat?

What does a storm cloud wear under his raincoat?

What's the smartest insect?

What's the smartest insect?

Why are snails slow?

Why are snails slow?

What do you call an ant who fights crime?

What do you call an ant who fights crime?

What do kids play when their mom is using the phone?

What do kids play when their mom is using the phone?

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

"i wasn't talking to you."

"i wasn't talking to you."

What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water?

What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water?

What did 0 say to 8?

What did 0 say to 8?

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

“that means a lot”

“that means a lot”

Why don't seagulls fly over the bay?

Why don't seagulls fly over the bay?

Why don't scientists trust atoms?

Why don't scientists trust atoms?

Why don't eggs tell jokes?

Why don't eggs tell jokes?

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?

Why did the bicycle fall over?

Why did the bicycle fall over?

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

I used to be a baker

I used to be a baker

How does a penguin build its house?

How does a penguin build its house?

How do you organize a space party?

How do you organize a space party?

the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

Don’t eat anything fatty

Don’t eat anything fatty

What do you do if you see a spaceman?

What do you do if you see a spaceman?

What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind?

What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind?

How do you find a blind man on a nude beach?

How do you find a blind man on a nude beach?

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

What do you get when you mix Goat DNA and Human DNA?

What do you get when you mix Goat DNA and Human DNA?

Why celebrities don't need AC in summer?

Why celebrities don't need AC in summer?

Start a conversation with "Are you even listening to me?"

Start a conversation with "Are you even listening to me?"

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?

Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

What do you call a magic dog?

What do you call a magic dog?

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?

What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?

What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits the windshield?

What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits the windshield?

Why did the half blind man fall into a well?

Why did the half blind man fall into a well?

Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat?

Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat?

Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?

Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?

Whats the most important part of a joke timing?

Whats the most important part of a joke timing?

Why do you never see hippos hiding in trees？

Why do you never see hippos hiding in trees？

"Kids, what does the chicken give you?"

"Kids, what does the chicken give you?"

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Why did the student eat his homework?

Why did the student eat his homework?

Why did the math book look sad?

Why did the math book look sad?

Why don't skeletons fight each other?

Why don't skeletons fight each other?

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

“What do you call a blind German?”

“What do you call a blind German?”

"why doesnt britain play chess?"

"why doesnt britain play chess?"

"Did you know 10+10 and 11+11 equal the same thing?"

"Did you know 10+10 and 11+11 equal the same thing?"

"Why is George Washington so bad at chess?"

"Why is George Washington so bad at chess?"

"what is a wizard that have lots of hair?"

"what is a wizard that have lots of hair?"

" what do you call a Chinese kid born to early? "

" what do you call a Chinese kid born to early? "

"Did you hear the joke about the plane"

"Did you hear the joke about the plane"

"Did you hear the joke about the plane"

"Did you hear the joke about the plane"

"Dad, what's dark humor?"

"Dad, what's dark humor?"

"what do you call a factory that makes good products?"

"what do you call a factory that makes good products?"