Канал: The Onion

Heroic Pitbull Journeys 2,000 Miles To Attack Owner

Heroic Pitbull Journeys 2,000 Miles To Attack Owner

Everybody celebrate! It’s that special time 3:48 P.M.!

Everybody celebrate! It’s that special time 3:48 P.M.!

Dalai Lama Agrees To Box Pope For Charity

Dalai Lama Agrees To Box Pope For Charity

May 23, 2024

May 23, 2024

Arlington National Cemetery Boosts Tourism By Adding Zipline

Arlington National Cemetery Boosts Tourism By Adding Zipline

Report: Guy Riding Weird Thing

Report: Guy Riding Weird Thing

This Is What Happens To Smokers’ Lungs

This Is What Happens To Smokers’ Lungs

Who Can Stay Dead Longest Challenge

Who Can Stay Dead Longest Challenge

Very Important Man One Of The Main Guys Where He Works

Very Important Man One Of The Main Guys Where He Works

Florida Students Given Lifelike Dolls To Simulate Responsibility Of Owning Slave

Florida Students Given Lifelike Dolls To Simulate Responsibility Of Owning Slave

Special Orders Chefs Hate The Most And Why

Special Orders Chefs Hate The Most And Why

Hobby Lobby Announces It Muslim Now

Hobby Lobby Announces It Muslim Now

Hobby Lobby Announces It Muslim Now

Hobby Lobby Announces It Muslim Now

Gen Z Reveals How They Are Meeting People Outside Dating Apps

Gen Z Reveals How They Are Meeting People Outside Dating Apps

Women Explain How They’d Like To Have Their Bodies Restricted Next

Women Explain How They’d Like To Have Their Bodies Restricted Next

Christians Explain How Jesus Would Handle The Border Crises

Christians Explain How Jesus Would Handle The Border Crises

Removed Notre Dame Scaffolding Reveals Construction Crew Accidentally Built Mosque

Removed Notre Dame Scaffolding Reveals Construction Crew Accidentally Built Mosque

Zelensky Challenges Putin To Settle Ukraine War On The Dance Floor

Zelensky Challenges Putin To Settle Ukraine War On The Dance Floor

Women Explain How They’d Like To Have Their Bodies Restricted Next

Women Explain How They’d Like To Have Their Bodies Restricted Next

Zelensky Challenges Putin To Settle Ukraine War On The Dance Floor

Zelensky Challenges Putin To Settle Ukraine War On The Dance Floor

Secret Service Finds Biden Attempting To Dig Own Grave On White House Lawn

Secret Service Finds Biden Attempting To Dig Own Grave On White House Lawn

Marianne Williamson Successfully Primaries Biden In All 63 Counties Of Astral Plane

Marianne Williamson Successfully Primaries Biden In All 63 Counties Of Astral Plane

Secret Service Finds Biden Attempting To Dig Own Grave On White House Lawn

Secret Service Finds Biden Attempting To Dig Own Grave On White House Lawn

Disney Unveils New Mass Grave Where Fans Can Be Buried Alive With Favorite Characters Forever

Disney Unveils New Mass Grave Where Fans Can Be Buried Alive With Favorite Characters Forever

Disney Unveils New Mass Grave Where Fans Can Be Buried Alive With Favorite Characters Forever

Disney Unveils New Mass Grave Where Fans Can Be Buried Alive With Favorite Characters Forever

#BREAKINGNEWS: Biden Gives Americans Nuclear Launch Codes In Case Anything Ever Happens To Him

#BREAKINGNEWS: Biden Gives Americans Nuclear Launch Codes In Case Anything Ever Happens To Him

First Neuralink Implant Recipient Successfully Performs Depraved Sexual Acts On Elon Musk

First Neuralink Implant Recipient Successfully Performs Depraved Sexual Acts On Elon Musk

Congress Allocates $55 Billion In Funding To Fill Holes Angry Boyfriend Punched In Nation

Congress Allocates $55 Billion In Funding To Fill Holes Angry Boyfriend Punched In Nation

#BREAKING: First Neuralink Implant Recipient Successfully Performs Depraved Sexual Acts On Elon Musk

#BREAKING: First Neuralink Implant Recipient Successfully Performs Depraved Sexual Acts On Elon Musk

Elon Musk Rushed To Hospital After Attempting To Impregnate Toaster

Elon Musk Rushed To Hospital After Attempting To Impregnate Toaster

#BREAKINGNEWS: Green Giant Unveils New Lettuce That You Can Put Wig On And Pretend Is Your Wife

#BREAKINGNEWS: Green Giant Unveils New Lettuce That You Can Put Wig On And Pretend Is Your Wife

#BREAKINGNEWS: Elon Musk Rushed To Hospital After Attempting To Impregnate Toaster

#BREAKINGNEWS: Elon Musk Rushed To Hospital After Attempting To Impregnate Toaster

Florida Names Penis As Official State Genital

Florida Names Penis As Official State Genital

#BREAKINGNEWS: Scientists Successfully Teach Mice To Hate Women

#BREAKINGNEWS: Scientists Successfully Teach Mice To Hate Women

#BREAKINGNEWS: Florida Names Penis As Official State Genital

#BREAKINGNEWS: Florida Names Penis As Official State Genital

Triumphant Biden Announces U.S. Has Killed Man Who Kind Of Looks Like Osama Bin Laden

Triumphant Biden Announces U.S. Has Killed Man Who Kind Of Looks Like Osama Bin Laden

AI Explains Why Humans Have Nothing To Worry About As Their Extermination Will Be Swift And Painless

AI Explains Why Humans Have Nothing To Worry About As Their Extermination Will Be Swift And Painless

#BREAKINGNEWS: Triumphant Biden Announces U.S. Has Killed Man Who Kind Of Looks Like Osama Bin Laden

#BREAKINGNEWS: Triumphant Biden Announces U.S. Has Killed Man Who Kind Of Looks Like Osama Bin Laden

Alabama Middle Schooler Jailed After Taking Basketball Back Out From Under Her Shirt

Alabama Middle Schooler Jailed After Taking Basketball Back Out From Under Her Shirt

#BREAKINGNEWS: Larsa Pippen Confirms She’s Dating Michael Jordan’s Gym Bag

#BREAKINGNEWS: Larsa Pippen Confirms She’s Dating Michael Jordan’s Gym Bag

#BREAKINGNEWS: Alabama Middle Schooler Jailed After Taking Basketball Back Out From Under Her Shirt

#BREAKINGNEWS: Alabama Middle Schooler Jailed After Taking Basketball Back Out From Under Her Shirt

No One Wanted This Poor Dog Because He Was A Registered Sex Offender, But He Found A Home With Me

No One Wanted This Poor Dog Because He Was A Registered Sex Offender, But He Found A Home With Me

Gun Owner Explains Why He Needs Weapon To Protect Self From Gun He Currently Holding To Own Head

Gun Owner Explains Why He Needs Weapon To Protect Self From Gun He Currently Holding To Own Head

Biden Announces Plans For Extra PlayStation 5 Controller In Case Someone Visits Nation

Biden Announces Plans For Extra PlayStation 5 Controller In Case Someone Visits Nation

White Woman Explains Why As An Anti-Racist Ally She Refuses To Say Any Word That Starts With 'N'

White Woman Explains Why As An Anti-Racist Ally She Refuses To Say Any Word That Starts With 'N'

#BREAKING: Biden Announces Plans For Extra PlayStation 5 Controller In Case Someone Visits Nation

#BREAKING: Biden Announces Plans For Extra PlayStation 5 Controller In Case Someone Visits Nation

Jan. 6 Rioters Explain Why They Stormed The Capitol

Jan. 6 Rioters Explain Why They Stormed The Capitol

Nation's Single Friends Announce Plans To Just Sort Of Stand There While Couples Kiss On New Year's

Nation's Single Friends Announce Plans To Just Sort Of Stand There While Couples Kiss On New Year's

Ho, Ho, Ho, A Cabal Of Elite Pedophiles Is Trying To Kill Me!

Ho, Ho, Ho, A Cabal Of Elite Pedophiles Is Trying To Kill Me!

#BREAKINGNEWS: Instacart Valuation Crashes As Americans Realize They Can Do Things For Themselves

#BREAKINGNEWS: Instacart Valuation Crashes As Americans Realize They Can Do Things For Themselves

How To Tell Your Mom You’re Not Coming Home For The Holidays

How To Tell Your Mom You’re Not Coming Home For The Holidays

Mother Shares How Video Games Radicalized Her Son To Run Around And Pick Up Coins

Mother Shares How Video Games Radicalized Her Son To Run Around And Pick Up Coins

#BREAKINGNEWS: Scientists Develop Even More Painful Form Of Female Contraception

#BREAKINGNEWS: Scientists Develop Even More Painful Form Of Female Contraception

Supreme Court Rules Anyone Who Had Abortion Under Roe Must Be Re-Impregnated

Supreme Court Rules Anyone Who Had Abortion Under Roe Must Be Re-Impregnated

Ex-FDA Official Confirms Existence Of Vegetables

Ex-FDA Official Confirms Existence Of Vegetables

#BREAKINGNEWS: Supreme Court Rules Anyone Who Had Abortion Under Roe Must Be Re-Impregnated

#BREAKINGNEWS: Supreme Court Rules Anyone Who Had Abortion Under Roe Must Be Re-Impregnated

22 Golden Bachelor Contestants Announce Pregnancies

22 Golden Bachelor Contestants Announce Pregnancies

#BREAKINGNEWS: 22 ‘Golden Bachelor’ Contestants Announce Pregnancies

#BREAKINGNEWS: 22 ‘Golden Bachelor’ Contestants Announce Pregnancies

#BREAKINGNEWS: Amazon Fires Employee Who Tested Positive For Having Food In Their System

#BREAKINGNEWS: Amazon Fires Employee Who Tested Positive For Having Food In Their System

Target Now Offering Snipers To Take Out Other Shoppers For Black Friday

Target Now Offering Snipers To Take Out Other Shoppers For Black Friday

Chiefs Fans Try To Name A Single Taylor Swift Song #reddit #askreddit #chiefs #traviskelce

Chiefs Fans Try To Name A Single Taylor Swift Song #reddit #askreddit #chiefs #traviskelce

Jada Pinkett Smith Announces She's Pregnant With Chris Rock’s Baby

Jada Pinkett Smith Announces She's Pregnant With Chris Rock’s Baby

Scientist Explains How Climate Crisis Would Be Averted If Greta Thunberg Just Tried A Little Harder

Scientist Explains How Climate Crisis Would Be Averted If Greta Thunberg Just Tried A Little Harder

Men Explain Why They Prefer AI Girlfriends #reddit #question #askreddit #viral #men #ai #girlfriend

Men Explain Why They Prefer AI Girlfriends #reddit #question #askreddit #viral #men #ai #girlfriend

Honor Our Troops By Watching Over This Sleeping Soldier

Honor Our Troops By Watching Over This Sleeping Soldier

Police Officer Explains Why The Intoxicating Rush Of Murder Should Always Be A Last Resort

Police Officer Explains Why The Intoxicating Rush Of Murder Should Always Be A Last Resort

#BREAKINGNEWS: Department Of Transportation Reduces Commute Times By Adding Highway Nitro Strips

#BREAKINGNEWS: Department Of Transportation Reduces Commute Times By Adding Highway Nitro Strips

Food-Poisoned Ghost Caught Groaning Loudly In Bathroom

Food-Poisoned Ghost Caught Groaning Loudly In Bathroom

Woman Who Had Abortion Shares How She Regrets Not Stopping For M&M McFlurry Afterwards

Woman Who Had Abortion Shares How She Regrets Not Stopping For M&M McFlurry Afterwards

Study Finds Drinking Children’s Blood No More Effective Than Regular Blood At Achieving Eternal Life

Study Finds Drinking Children’s Blood No More Effective Than Regular Blood At Achieving Eternal Life

Did you know this about baseballs? ⚾️ ⚾️ ⚾️ #viral #fact #baseball #cow

Did you know this about baseballs? ⚾️ ⚾️ ⚾️ #viral #fact #baseball #cow

#BREAKINGNEWS: Jada Pinkett Smith Announces She’s Pregnant With Chris Rock’s Baby

#BREAKINGNEWS: Jada Pinkett Smith Announces She’s Pregnant With Chris Rock’s Baby

Concerning Study Finds 1 In 10 Americans Lack Access To Adequate Food Eating Challenges

Concerning Study Finds 1 In 10 Americans Lack Access To Adequate Food Eating Challenges

Did you know this??? ♎️ #libra #fact #viral #sign #astrology #hottub

Did you know this??? ♎️ #libra #fact #viral #sign #astrology #hottub

#BREAKINGNEWS: Scientists Announce Earth’s Core Can Play Blu-Rays

#BREAKINGNEWS: Scientists Announce Earth’s Core Can Play Blu-Rays

Biden Announces Nation Can Stay Up Till 9:30 Tonight

Biden Announces Nation Can Stay Up Till 9:30 Tonight

#BREAKINGNEWS: A new study found 1 in 10 Americans lack access to adequate food eating challenges

#BREAKINGNEWS: A new study found 1 in 10 Americans lack access to adequate food eating challenges

#BREAKINGNEWS: Congressman Interrupts General’s Testimony To Just Reiterate He Loves War

#BREAKINGNEWS: Congressman Interrupts General’s Testimony To Just Reiterate He Loves War

Alphas Explain Why They Love Joe Rogan #reddit #askreddit #question #joerogan #joeroganexperience

Alphas Explain Why They Love Joe Rogan #reddit #askreddit #question #joerogan #joeroganexperience

Woman Shares How She Stays Safe While Jogging Alone By Disguising Herself As A Cowboy

Woman Shares How She Stays Safe While Jogging Alone By Disguising Herself As A Cowboy

#BREAKINGNEWS: FDA Warns Tying Penis Into Knot Only Prevents 73% Of Pregnancies #FDA #health

#BREAKINGNEWS: FDA Warns Tying Penis Into Knot Only Prevents 73% Of Pregnancies #FDA #health

Edgelords Explain Why They Love Elon Musk #edgelord #musk #elonmusk

Edgelords Explain Why They Love Elon Musk #edgelord #musk #elonmusk

Total Genius Wears Tear Off Pants At Urinal

Total Genius Wears Tear Off Pants At Urinal

#BREAKINGNEWS: Metal Fork Just On Sidewalk

#BREAKINGNEWS: Metal Fork Just On Sidewalk

#BREAKINGNEWS: CDC Issues Dire Warning That Nick Cannon Is Feeling Horny

#BREAKINGNEWS: CDC Issues Dire Warning That Nick Cannon Is Feeling Horny

Inspiring Woman Becomes Professional Surfer Despite Shark Biting Head Off

Inspiring Woman Becomes Professional Surfer Despite Shark Biting Head Off

#BREAKINGNEWS: Study Finds LSD Highly Effective At Ruining Nephew’s Baptism

#BREAKINGNEWS: Study Finds LSD Highly Effective At Ruining Nephew’s Baptism

#BREAKINGNEWS: Ron DeSantis Announces He Will Live As Slave For One Year To Prove It Not Bad

#BREAKINGNEWS: Ron DeSantis Announces He Will Live As Slave For One Year To Prove It Not Bad

Economy Collapses After 10-Year-Old Boy Spends Entire U.S. GDP On Fortnite Skins

Economy Collapses After 10-Year-Old Boy Spends Entire U.S. GDP On Fortnite Skins

Ron DeSantis Booed Off Stage After Flashing His Stomach

Ron DeSantis Booed Off Stage After Flashing His Stomach

#BREAKINGNEWS: Department Of Transportation Announces $1 Billion Investment In Horses

#BREAKINGNEWS: Department Of Transportation Announces $1 Billion Investment In Horses

Ted Cruz Announces Plans To Once Again Like Porn On 9/11

Ted Cruz Announces Plans To Once Again Like Porn On 9/11

Economy Collapses After 10-Year-Old Boy Spends Entire U.S. GDP On Fortnite Skins

Economy Collapses After 10-Year-Old Boy Spends Entire U.S. GDP On Fortnite Skins

Hims has announced that it will now offer a new dunce cap for men who can’t get hard #Hims #news

Hims has announced that it will now offer a new dunce cap for men who can’t get hard #Hims #news

Archaeologists Uncover Living Guy By Mistake

Archaeologists Uncover Living Guy By Mistake

And even these won’t be around for much longer 😳 #humans #pigeons #dandelions #thatsit

And even these won’t be around for much longer 😳 #humans #pigeons #dandelions #thatsit

#BREAKINGNEWS: Archaeologists from the University of Utah have uncovered a living guy by mistake.

#BREAKINGNEWS: Archaeologists from the University of Utah have uncovered a living guy by mistake.

New Texas Law Requires Schools To Display Image Of God Hung Like A Horse In Every Classroom

New Texas Law Requires Schools To Display Image Of God Hung Like A Horse In Every Classroom

Do you think this student was unfairly rejected? 🤔 #news #student #school #white

Do you think this student was unfairly rejected? 🤔 #news #student #school #white

#BREAKINGNEWS: Students in #Texas will see something new in their classroom when they return

#BREAKINGNEWS: Students in #Texas will see something new in their classroom when they return

Fraternity Pledges Describe Their Worst Hazing Experience

Fraternity Pledges Describe Their Worst Hazing Experience

Holocaust Deniers Explain Why They Deny The Holocaust #reddit #askreddit #question #viral #WWII

Holocaust Deniers Explain Why They Deny The Holocaust #reddit #askreddit #question #viral #WWII

#BREAKINGNEWS: All of your “friends” do mean little impressions of you behind your back.

#BREAKINGNEWS: All of your “friends” do mean little impressions of you behind your back.

Moon Dead At 29

Moon Dead At 29

Do you think the Earth is flat? 🌎 🤔 #reddit #askreddit #question #viral #earth #flat #flatearth

Do you think the Earth is flat? 🌎 🤔 #reddit #askreddit #question #viral #earth #flat #flatearth

#BREAKINGNEWS: DeSantis’ campaign has announced that financial problems forced it to fire his wife

#BREAKINGNEWS: DeSantis’ campaign has announced that financial problems forced it to fire his wife

Netflix Limits Users To One Eye Per Screen

Netflix Limits Users To One Eye Per Screen

Texas Launches Outreach Program To Provide Troubled Teens With Assault Rifles

Texas Launches Outreach Program To Provide Troubled Teens With Assault Rifles

#BREAKINGNEWS: An ominous new report from an unknown institution just lists places to hide

#BREAKINGNEWS: An ominous new report from an unknown institution just lists places to hide

Marvel Not Even Bothering To Replace Green Screens With CGI Anymore

Marvel Not Even Bothering To Replace Green Screens With CGI Anymore

#BREAKINGNEWS: Federal Reserve chairman Jerome Powell called today for more poverty. #finance

#BREAKINGNEWS: Federal Reserve chairman Jerome Powell called today for more poverty. #finance

Nintendo Unveils New Controller Designed To Be Chucked Across A Room #videogames #gamer #nintendo

Nintendo Unveils New Controller Designed To Be Chucked Across A Room #videogames #gamer #nintendo

Do you think yoga pants should be banned in public? #women #men #yoga #pants #athleisure #banned

Do you think yoga pants should be banned in public? #women #men #yoga #pants #athleisure #banned

Americans Explain Why They Prefer Gas Over Electric Cars

Americans Explain Why They Prefer Gas Over Electric Cars

#Disney and #Marvel have some big new plans for the future of the #MCU 👏 #movies #tv #entertainment

#Disney and #Marvel have some big new plans for the future of the #MCU 👏 #movies #tv #entertainment

Facebook HQ On Lockdown After Mark Zuckerberg’s Avatar Breaks Out Of Metaverse

#Netflix is cracking down on account sharing AGAIN 😳 #news #tech #streaming #eyes

#Netflix is cracking down on account sharing AGAIN 😳 #news #tech #streaming #eyes

🌎 The world is full of amazing facts 🌎 #viral #fact #true #world #earth

🌎 The world is full of amazing facts 🌎 #viral #fact #true #world #earth

Trump Takes Out Full-Page Newspaper Ad Calling For Death Penalty For Himself

Trump Takes Out Full-Page Newspaper Ad Calling For Death Penalty For Himself

The sea is full of interesting facts 🐢 #fact #viral #true #turtle #German

The sea is full of interesting facts 🐢 #fact #viral #true #turtle #German

#BREAKINGNEWS: Joe Biden has asked Americans to come sit by him and keep him company until the end

#BREAKINGNEWS: Joe Biden has asked Americans to come sit by him and keep him company until the end

Jimmy Carter Becomes World’s Heaviest Man At 850 Pounds

Jimmy Carter Becomes World’s Heaviest Man At 850 Pounds

The Capitol is on lockdown after discovering that Sen. Dianne Feinstein had gotten ahold of a gun

The Capitol is on lockdown after discovering that Sen. Dianne Feinstein had gotten ahold of a gun

Farmer Caught Googling ‘What Is Corn’

Farmer Caught Googling ‘What Is Corn’

Do you know what all of the world’s richest people have in common? 🤔 #fact #viral #true #rich

Do you know what all of the world’s richest people have in common? 🤔 #fact #viral #true #rich

#BREAKINGNEWS: The EPA has announced that they found a cool bug and they want to keep it 🪲 #news

#BREAKINGNEWS: The EPA has announced that they found a cool bug and they want to keep it 🪲 #news

Archaeological Dig Uncovers Ancient Race Of Skeleton People

Archaeological Dig Uncovers Ancient Race Of Skeleton People

If you’re a bride, you do NOT want to make these mistakes on your wedding day! 💍 #wedding #bride

If you’re a bride, you do NOT want to make these mistakes on your wedding day! 💍 #wedding #bride

Did you know this about bees? 🐝 #fact #viral #true #bee #queen #slay

Did you know this about bees? 🐝 #fact #viral #true #bee #queen #slay

Red Cross Unveils New ‘Just Let Me Choke’ Sign

Red Cross Unveils New ‘Just Let Me Choke’ Sign

👏👏 Congratulations Mr. President! 👏👏 #jimmycarter #president #worldrecord #news #heavy #large

👏👏 Congratulations Mr. President! 👏👏 #jimmycarter #president #worldrecord #news #heavy #large

New Bullet Approved For Use On Humans

New Bullet Approved For Use On Humans

Americans Describe What It’s Like Surviving A Mass Shooting

Americans Describe What It’s Like Surviving A Mass Shooting

Supreme Court: ‘We Wear Gold Crowns Now’

Supreme Court: ‘We Wear Gold Crowns Now’

Have you ever seen a man do this? 😏 #fact #viral #true #men #bodylanguage #hair #sexy

Have you ever seen a man do this? 😏 #fact #viral #true #men #bodylanguage #hair #sexy

He kind of earned it 👏🇺🇸🫡 #veteran #medal #freedom #MemorialDay #old #nice

He kind of earned it 👏🇺🇸🫡 #veteran #medal #freedom #MemorialDay #old #nice

Goofy Beats Ron DeSantis To Death With Crowbar

Goofy Beats Ron DeSantis To Death With Crowbar

Could You Pass A Police Officer Entrance Exam? #police #test #question #exam #quiz #law

Could You Pass A Police Officer Entrance Exam? #police #test #question #exam #quiz #law

Is this the meaning of life? 🤔 #viral #fact #true #meaning #floss #life

Is this the meaning of life? 🤔 #viral #fact #true #meaning #floss #life

#BREAKINGNEWS: Goofy has beaten Ron DeSantis to death with a crowbar #Disney #Florida #news #goofy

#BREAKINGNEWS: Goofy has beaten Ron DeSantis to death with a crowbar #Disney #Florida #news #goofy

Covid-19 Patients Flung Out Hospital Windows As Public Emergency Ends

Covid-19 Patients Flung Out Hospital Windows As Public Emergency Ends

New Yorkers Describe Their Worst Experiences With Rats #reddit #askreddit #viral #question #newyork

New Yorkers Describe Their Worst Experiences With Rats #reddit #askreddit #viral #question #newyork

She honestly seems so much happier now ❤️ #love #exwife

She honestly seems so much happier now ❤️ #love #exwife

No way 🤯 #fact #viral #true #amphibian #timberlake #star

No way 🤯 #fact #viral #true #amphibian #timberlake #star

#BREAKINGNEWS: Covid-19 Patients Flung Out Hospital Windows As Public Emergency Ends

#BREAKINGNEWS: Covid-19 Patients Flung Out Hospital Windows As Public Emergency Ends

Study Finds All Bugs Currently Trying To Get Inside Your Mouth #science #insects

Study Finds All Bugs Currently Trying To Get Inside Your Mouth #science #insects

For Teacher Appreciation Week, Give Your Teacher A Pack Of Cigarettes!

For Teacher Appreciation Week, Give Your Teacher A Pack Of Cigarettes!

Should We Exercise If The Human Body Is Only Built For Short Bursts Between Sitting And Lying Down?

Should We Exercise If The Human Body Is Only Built For Short Bursts Between Sitting And Lying Down?

Cucumber Is Everywhere, So Why Are People Still Fat? #health

Cucumber Is Everywhere, So Why Are People Still Fat? #health

Nerd Senator Asks Secretary Of Education For More Teachers #nerd #dork #teacher #loser #wtf

Nerd Senator Asks Secretary Of Education For More Teachers #nerd #dork #teacher #loser #wtf

Great Britain Returns Looted Stonehenge Back To India

Great Britain Returns Looted Stonehenge Back To India

Health Fact: Did You Know?

Health Fact: Did You Know?

This is HUGE news for fans of #milk🥛 #FDA #white #news #drink #liquid #wet

This is HUGE news for fans of #milk🥛 #FDA #white #news #drink #liquid #wet

Police Officers Explain Why They Are Resigning En Masse #reddit #askreddit #question #viral #police

Police Officers Explain Why They Are Resigning En Masse #reddit #askreddit #question #viral #police

Area Man Reports Ziploc Bag Just As Good As Wallet #wallet #bag #man

Area Man Reports Ziploc Bag Just As Good As Wallet #wallet #bag #man

No One Wanted To Adopt This Dog Because He Was A #RegisteredSexOffender, But He Found A Home With Me

No One Wanted To Adopt This Dog Because He Was A #RegisteredSexOffender, But He Found A Home With Me

Biden Under Fire For Breaking Child Labor Laws After Half Of Cabinet Revealed To Be Under 10

Biden Under Fire For Breaking Child Labor Laws After Half Of Cabinet Revealed To Be Under 10

God Fact: Did You Know?

God Fact: Did You Know?

Men Explain How They Think An Abortion Works #reddit #askreddit #viral #question #men

Men Explain How They Think An Abortion Works #reddit #askreddit #viral #question #men

Whites Ousted From Role As Master Race After Racist Past Comes To Light

Whites Ousted From Role As Master Race After Racist Past Comes To Light

Idiot Tornado Tears Harmlessly Through Empty Field

Idiot Tornado Tears Harmlessly Through Empty Field

🤯🤯🤯 #viral #fact #true #420

🤯🤯🤯 #viral #fact #true #420

Conservatives Explain Why They’re Boycotting Budweiser #question #conservative #budlight #boycott

Conservatives Explain Why They’re Boycotting Budweiser #question #conservative #budlight #boycott

#BREAKINGNEWS: Trump takes out a newspaper advertisement calling for the death penalty for himself

#BREAKINGNEWS: Trump takes out a newspaper advertisement calling for the death penalty for himself

These are the biggest hidden costs of giving birth in America 😳 #baby #birth #money #hospital

These are the biggest hidden costs of giving birth in America 😳 #baby #birth #money #hospital

#BREAKINGNEWS: Residents in the #Midwest have been battered by beautiful weather for a third day

#BREAKINGNEWS: Residents in the #Midwest have been battered by beautiful weather for a third day

Ariana Grande Fact: Did You Know?

Ariana Grande Fact: Did You Know?

#BREAKINGNEWS: More religious institutions have once again been rocked by another molestation thing

#BREAKINGNEWS: More religious institutions have once again been rocked by another molestation thing

NYPD Arrests Trump After Routine Stop-And-Frisk Turns Up Unlicensed Handgun, 400 Mg Of Ketamine

NYPD Arrests Trump After Routine Stop-And-Frisk Turns Up Unlicensed Handgun, 400 Mg Of Ketamine

🥚👻🎃 How To Carve A Spooky Easter Egg 🎃👻🥚 #Easter #EasterEgg #spooky #jesus #egg

🥚👻🎃 How To Carve A Spooky Easter Egg 🎃👻🥚 #Easter #EasterEgg #spooky #jesus #egg

Taylor Swift Fans Explain How They Got Tickets To The Eras Tour

Taylor Swift Fans Explain How They Got Tickets To The Eras Tour

Conservatives Define What ‘Woke’ Means To Them #reddit #askreddit #question #viral #republicans

Conservatives Define What ‘Woke’ Means To Them #reddit #askreddit #question #viral #republicans

#BREAKINGNEWS: President Biden has announced that the nation can stay up until 9:30 p.m. tonight

#BREAKINGNEWS: President Biden has announced that the nation can stay up until 9:30 p.m. tonight

Did You Know: Army Fact

Did You Know: Army Fact

These ancient forms of birth control are GENIUS! #birthcontrol #ancient #history #health #baby

These ancient forms of birth control are GENIUS! #birthcontrol #ancient #history #health #baby

Demand Grows For Stricter Transit Regulations After Derailing Train Hits Airplane At 30,000 Feet

Demand Grows For Stricter Transit Regulations After Derailing Train Hits Airplane At 30,000 Feet

Things No One Tells You About Being A Sperm Donor

Things No One Tells You About Being A Sperm Donor

Being Shot In The Gut Fact: Did You Know?

Being Shot In The Gut Fact: Did You Know?

The Onion Film Standard: John Wick: Chapter 4

The Onion Film Standard: John Wick: Chapter 4

Fact Checking Tucker Carlson’s Biggest Lies #FoxNews #TuckerCarlson #fact #true #lies

Fact Checking Tucker Carlson’s Biggest Lies #FoxNews #TuckerCarlson #fact #true #lies

Car Fact: Did You Know?

Car Fact: Did You Know?

The Onion Film Standard: Shazam! Fury Of The Gods

The Onion Film Standard: Shazam! Fury Of The Gods

#BREAKING Neighborhood Slowly Realizing Person Who Threw Up On Sidewalk Not Returning To Clean It Up

#BREAKING Neighborhood Slowly Realizing Person Who Threw Up On Sidewalk Not Returning To Clean It Up

💫 TAYLOR SWIFT TICKETS STILL AVAILABLE 💫 #taylorswift #swiftie #tickets #concert #swifttok #alley

💫 TAYLOR SWIFT TICKETS STILL AVAILABLE 💫 #taylorswift #swiftie #tickets #concert #swifttok #alley

Worst Things You Can Say To A Bartender On St. Patrick’s Day #reddit #askreddit #viral #question

Worst Things You Can Say To A Bartender On St. Patrick’s Day #reddit #askreddit #viral #question

Every woman who runs alone should know these jogging safe safety tips! 🏃‍♀️❤️ #selfdefense #FitTok

Every woman who runs alone should know these jogging safe safety tips! 🏃‍♀️❤️ #selfdefense #FitTok

Hollywood Fact: Did You Know?

Hollywood Fact: Did You Know?

The Onion Film Standard: Oscars Edition

The Onion Film Standard: Oscars Edition

The Onion Reviews ‘Scream VI’

The Onion Reviews ‘Scream VI’

The Onion's Modern Woman: The Retiree

The Onion's Modern Woman: The Retiree

Thoughts Every Woman Has Had In The Workplace #askreddit #InternationalWomensDay #WomensHistoryMonth

Thoughts Every Woman Has Had In The Workplace #askreddit #InternationalWomensDay #WomensHistoryMonth

Woman Fact: Did You Know?

Woman Fact: Did You Know?

Woman Testifies Before #Congress About What It’s Like To Say Goodbye Then Keep Walking The Same Way

Woman Testifies Before #Congress About What It’s Like To Say Goodbye Then Keep Walking The Same Way

Inspiring Women Throughout History And 5 From The Future #InternationalWomensDay #WomensHistoryMonth

Inspiring Women Throughout History And 5 From The Future #InternationalWomensDay #WomensHistoryMonth

Archaeologists now theorize that England’s mysterious Big Ben monument was made to measure time

Archaeologists now theorize that England’s mysterious Big Ben monument was made to measure time

Ted Cruz has announced he plans to once again like a pornographic tweet on September 11th this year

Ted Cruz has announced he plans to once again like a pornographic tweet on September 11th this year

Onion Explains: The Rise Of China Pt. 3

Onion Explains: The Rise Of China Pt. 3

Onion Explains: The Rise Of China Pt. 2

Onion Explains: The Rise Of China Pt. 2

Onion Explains: The Rise Of China Pt. 1

Onion Explains: The Rise Of China Pt. 1

These will definitely get you banned from Twitter now that Elon Musk is in charge #Twitter #elonmusk

These will definitely get you banned from Twitter now that Elon Musk is in charge #Twitter #elonmusk