Канал: Zaizai

CS:GO ARMS RACE 麦克说：不是你死，就是我活

CS:GO ARMS RACE 麦克说：不是你死，就是我活

CS:GO ARMS RACE 你对我最好，我们好好，好到疯掉

CS:GO ARMS RACE 你对我最好，我们好好，好到疯掉

CS:GO ARMS RACE 很漂亮的皮肤啊！

CS:GO ARMS RACE 很漂亮的皮肤啊！

CS:GO ARMS RACE 吸引力法则的厉害

CS:GO ARMS RACE 吸引力法则的厉害

CS:GO ARMS RACE 今天我X-RAY了我的脑袋，如图显示

CS:GO ARMS RACE 今天我X-RAY了我的脑袋，如图显示

CS:GO ARMS RACE 吸烟对身体有害

CS:GO ARMS RACE 吸烟对身体有害

CS:GO ARMS RACE 我老了，不再是年轻的小伙子

CS:GO ARMS RACE 我老了，不再是年轻的小伙子

CS:GO ARMS RACE 把手指放在你的鼻子前

CS:GO ARMS RACE 把手指放在你的鼻子前

CS:GO ARMS RACE tiada topik today

CS:GO ARMS RACE tiada topik today

CS:GO ARMS RACE kau pergi jauh karena salahku

CS:GO ARMS RACE kau pergi jauh karena salahku

CS:GO ARMS RACE kisah antara kau dan aku

CS:GO ARMS RACE kisah antara kau dan aku

CS:GO ARMS RACE nice ak47 skin

CS:GO ARMS RACE nice ak47 skin

CS:GO ARMS RACE Seribu tahun ku tetap setia

CS:GO ARMS RACE Seribu tahun ku tetap setia

CS:GO ARMS RACE cantik pistol merah

CS:GO ARMS RACE cantik pistol merah

CS:GO ARMS RACE Demi cinta , ku tetap menanti

CS:GO ARMS RACE Demi cinta , ku tetap menanti

CS:GO ARMS RACE Tak ku hiraukan panas mentari lagi

CS:GO ARMS RACE Tak ku hiraukan panas mentari lagi

CS:GO ARMS RACE superpower by you

CS:GO ARMS RACE superpower by you

CS:GO ARMS RACE 有点混乱的场面

CS:GO ARMS RACE 有点混乱的场面

CS:GO ARMS RACE so , what should i even try ?

CS:GO ARMS RACE so , what should i even try ?

CS:GO ARMS RACE so the days unfold before us

CS:GO ARMS RACE so the days unfold before us

CS:GO ARMS RACE 捍卫自己的城堡

CS:GO ARMS RACE 捍卫自己的城堡

CS:GO ARMS RACE how about this weapon ?

CS:GO ARMS RACE how about this weapon ?

CS:GO ARMS RACE gaji belum masuk boleh makan maggi sahaja

CS:GO ARMS RACE gaji belum masuk boleh makan maggi sahaja

CS:GO ARMS RACE why you like that

CS:GO ARMS RACE why you like that

CS:GO ARMS RACE Nicotine is an addictive chemical

CS:GO ARMS RACE Nicotine is an addictive chemical

CS:GO ARMS RACE Didn't know what else to do

CS:GO ARMS RACE Didn't know what else to do

CS:GO ARMS RACE 3 years ago i ran away with you

CS:GO ARMS RACE 3 years ago i ran away with you

CS:GO ARMS RACE what gun is that ?

CS:GO ARMS RACE what gun is that ?

CS:GO today is not a good day

CS:GO today is not a good day

CS:GO 一起跳舞吧！

CS:GO 一起跳舞吧！

CS:GO ARMS RACE just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

CS:GO ARMS RACE just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

CS:GO ARMS RACE If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot.

CS:GO ARMS RACE If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot.

CS:GO ARMS RACE ‘Revenge’ sounds so mean, that’s why I prefer to call it ‘Returning the favor.’

CS:GO ARMS RACE ‘Revenge’ sounds so mean, that’s why I prefer to call it ‘Returning the favor.’

CS:GO ARMS RACE I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge.

CS:GO ARMS RACE You never know what you have, until you clean your closet.

CS:GO ARMS RACE You never know what you have, until you clean your closet.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal.

CS:GO ARMS RACE It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head, I’m quite busy.

CS:GO ARMS RACE It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head, I’m quite busy.

CS:GO ARMS RACE My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again.

CS:GO ARMS RACE My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again.

CS:GO ARMS RACE An apple a day keeps anyone a way, if you throw it hard enough.

CS:GO ARMS RACE An apple a day keeps anyone a way, if you throw it hard enough.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I wish my wallet came with free refills.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I wish my wallet came with free refills.

CS:GO ARMS RACE How do you count cows? With a cowculator.

CS:GO ARMS RACE How do you count cows? With a cowculator.

CS:GO ARMS RACE How do astronomers organize a party? They planet.

CS:GO ARMS RACE How do astronomers organize a party? They planet.

CS:GO ARMS RACE What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? Envelope.

CS:GO ARMS RACE What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? Envelope.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I’m not weird, I’m just limited edition.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I’m not weird, I’m just limited edition.

CS:GO ARMS RACE All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.

CS:GO ARMS RACE All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I eat cake because it’s someone’s birthday somewhere today.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I eat cake because it’s someone’s birthday somewhere today.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.

CS:GO ARMS RACE You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

CS:GO ARMS RACE You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I’m old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I’m old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I’m sorry that I’m not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I’m sorry that I’m not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter; people the opposite.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter; people the opposite.

CS:GO ARMS RACE If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

CS:GO ARMS RACE If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Nine out of ten people love chocolate, and the 10th person is always lying.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Nine out of ten people love chocolate, and the 10th person is always lying.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back.

CS:GO ARMS RACE If you can’t laugh at your own problems, call me and I’ll laugh at them.

CS:GO ARMS RACE If you can’t laugh at your own problems, call me and I’ll laugh at them.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else?

CS:GO ARMS RACE Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else?

CS:GO ARMS RACE It’s not important to win, it’s important to make the other guy lose.

CS:GO ARMS RACE It’s not important to win, it’s important to make the other guy lose.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I may not know karate, but I know crazy and I’m not afraid to use it.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I may not know karate, but I know crazy and I’m not afraid to use it.

CS:GO ARMS RACE If you can’t remember my name, just say ‘chocolate’ and I’ll turn around..

CS:GO ARMS RACE If you can’t remember my name, just say ‘chocolate’ and I’ll turn around..

CS:GO ARMS RACE I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Don’t worry, the spider is smaller than you. Yeah, so is a grenade.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Don’t worry, the spider is smaller than you. Yeah, so is a grenade.

CS:GO ARMS RACE The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits

CS:GO ARMS RACE The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits

CS:GO ARMS RACE Never judge a book by its movie.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Never judge a book by its movie.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday?

CS:GO ARMS RACE Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday?

CS:GO ARMS RACE Give me a photo of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Give me a photo of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas.

CS:GO ARMS RACE My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour.

CS:GO ARMS RACE My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour.

CS:GO ARMS RACE What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out.

CS:GO ARMS RACE What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out.

CS:GO ARMS RACE People say you can’t live without love, but I think oxygen is more important.

CS:GO ARMS RACE People say you can’t live without love, but I think oxygen is more important.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Exercise? I thought you said extra fries.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Exercise? I thought you said extra fries.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Life’s biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I don’t want to get out of bed.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Life’s biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I don’t want to get out of bed.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I’m going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, I’m outstanding.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I’m going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, I’m outstanding.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Who says nothing is impossible? I’ve been doing nothing for years.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Who says nothing is impossible? I’ve been doing nothing for years.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die

CS:GO ARMS RACE Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die

CS:GO ARMS RACE Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible?

CS:GO ARMS RACE Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible?

CS:GO ARMS RACE There’s life without Facebook and internet? Really? Send me the link.

CS:GO ARMS RACE There’s life without Facebook and internet? Really? Send me the link.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing.

CS:GO ARMS RACE You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here.

CS:GO ARMS RACE You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Stop texting me in the middle of texting you, now I have to change my text.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Stop texting me in the middle of texting you, now I have to change my text.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

CS:GO ARMS RACE Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

CS:GO ARMS RACE If only common sense were more common.

CS:GO ARMS RACE If only common sense were more common.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Yesterday I did nothing and today I’m finishing what I did yesterday.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Yesterday I did nothing and today I’m finishing what I did yesterday.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I wonder, do we lazy people go to heaven or do they send someone to pick us up?

CS:GO ARMS RACE I wonder, do we lazy people go to heaven or do they send someone to pick us up?

CS:GO ARMS RACE I don’t like morning people, or mornings, or people.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I don’t like morning people, or mornings, or people.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I’m not lazy, I’m just very relaxed.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I’m not lazy, I’m just very relaxed.

CS:GO ARMS RACE What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Snowballs.

CS:GO ARMS RACE What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Snowballs.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Don’t give up on your dreams so soon, sleep longer.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Don’t give up on your dreams so soon, sleep longer.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s okay, he woke up.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s okay, he woke up.

CS:GO ARMS RACE You know you are lazy when you get excited about canceling your plans.

CS:GO ARMS RACE You know you are lazy when you get excited about canceling your plans.

CS:GO ARMS RACE After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says W T F.

CS:GO ARMS RACE After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says W T F.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Sorry, I didn’t pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Sorry, I didn’t pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Are these genes in your jeans or are you just happy to see me?

CS:GO ARMS RACE Are these genes in your jeans or are you just happy to see me?

CS:GO ARMS RACE Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that’s confusing.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that’s confusing.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet, miss a car payment.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet, miss a car payment.

CS:GO ARMS RACE We are going to be best friends forever, besides you already know too much.

CS:GO ARMS RACE We are going to be best friends forever, besides you already know too much.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Bowling Alley: Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Bowling Alley: Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you’re done.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you’re done.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Remember: Don’t Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Remember: Don’t Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.

CS:GO ARMS RACE The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do

CS:GO ARMS RACE The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do

CS:GO ARMS RACE God heals, and the doctor takes the fees

CS:GO ARMS RACE God heals, and the doctor takes the fees

CS:GO ARMS RACE All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips.

CS:GO ARMS RACE All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips.

CS:GO ARMS RACE My wife and I were happy for 20 years, then we met

CS:GO ARMS RACE My wife and I were happy for 20 years, then we met

CS:GO ARMS RACE Never ask a starfish for directions.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Never ask a starfish for directions.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I love my computer because all my friends live inside it.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I love my computer because all my friends live inside it.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Relax, it’s the weekend, just don’t blink or it will be all over.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Relax, it’s the weekend, just don’t blink or it will be all over.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I’m in desperate need of a 6-month vacation, twice a year.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I’m in desperate need of a 6-month vacation, twice a year.

CS:GO ARMS RACE A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open.

CS:GO ARMS RACE A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open.

CS:GO ARMS RACE A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up.

CS:GO ARMS RACE A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I don’t know how to act my age because I’ve never been this old before.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I don’t know how to act my age because I’ve never been this old before.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control

CS:GO ARMS RACE Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control

CS:GO ARMS RACE We all have baggage, find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack.

CS:GO ARMS RACE We all have baggage, find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Smiles are contagious, be a carrier.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Smiles are contagious, be a carrier.

CS:GO ARMS RACE A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.

CS:GO ARMS RACE A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.

CS:GO ARMS RACE If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible?

CS:GO ARMS RACE If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible?

CS:GO ARMS RACE If Monday had a face, I would punch it.

CS:GO ARMS RACE If Monday had a face, I would punch it.

CS:GO ARMS RACE The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep.

CS:GO ARMS RACE The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep.

CS:GO ARMS RACE When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

CS:GO ARMS RACE When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I’m not arguing, I’m just telling you why you’re wrong.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I’m not arguing, I’m just telling you why you’re wrong.

CS:GO ARMS RACE You wanna know who I’m in love with? Read the first word again.

CS:GO ARMS RACE You wanna know who I’m in love with? Read the first word again.

CS:GO ARMS RACE If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front.

CS:GO ARMS RACE If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

CS:GO ARMS RACE It’s alright if you don’t agree with me, I can’t force you to be right.

CS:GO ARMS RACE It’s alright if you don’t agree with me, I can’t force you to be right.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world.

CS:GO ARMS RACE When the past comes knocking, don’t answer. It has nothing new to tell you.

CS:GO ARMS RACE When the past comes knocking, don’t answer. It has nothing new to tell you.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I really should do something with my life, maybe tomorrow.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I really should do something with my life, maybe tomorrow.

CS:GO ARMS RACE My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them.

CS:GO ARMS RACE My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Yes, of course, I am athletic, I surf the Internet every day.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Yes, of course, I am athletic, I surf the Internet every day.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Of course, I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Of course, I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Art doesn’t transform. It just plain forms.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Art doesn’t transform. It just plain forms.

CS:GO ARMS RACE The only power you have is the word ‘no’.

CS:GO ARMS RACE The only power you have is the word ‘no’.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I said yes, which turned out to be the right answer.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I said yes, which turned out to be the right answer.

CS:GO ARMS RACE My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it.

CS:GO ARMS RACE My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Today, I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Today, I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym.

CS:GO ARMS RACE The only relationship I have is with my Wifi. We have a connection.

CS:GO ARMS RACE The only relationship I have is with my Wifi. We have a connection.

CS:GO ARMS RACE My windows aren’t dirty, my dog is painting.

CS:GO ARMS RACE My windows aren’t dirty, my dog is painting.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I only check my voicemail to get rid of the annoying little icon.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I only check my voicemail to get rid of the annoying little icon.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Why was six scared of seven? Because seven “ate” nine.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Why was six scared of seven? Because seven “ate” nine.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I could agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I could agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.

CS:GO ARMS RACE When you fall, I will be there to catch you with love. Sincerely, the floor.

CS:GO ARMS RACE When you fall, I will be there to catch you with love. Sincerely, the floor.

CS:GO ARMS RACE They say ‘don’t try this at home’ so I’m coming over to your house to try it.

CS:GO ARMS RACE They say ‘don’t try this at home’ so I’m coming over to your house to try it.

CS:GO ARMS RACE If we shouldn’t eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?

CS:GO ARMS RACE If we shouldn’t eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?

CS:GO ARMS RACE Seeing a spider in my room isn’t scary. It’s scary when it disappears.

CS:GO ARMS RACE Seeing a spider in my room isn’t scary. It’s scary when it disappears.

CS:GO ARMS RACE At night, I can’t fall asleep. In the morning, I can’t get up.

CS:GO ARMS RACE At night, I can’t fall asleep. In the morning, I can’t get up.

CS:GO ARMS RACE 今天外边天很冷，宿舍的就决定谁穿的少，就让他去楼下拿外卖，我一想那我脱光看你们怎么让我下去拿。没想到他们马上凑上来拍了照，突然发现了一件非常可怕的事情：威胁我下去拿。。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 今天外边天很冷，宿舍的就决定谁穿的少，就让他去楼下拿外卖，我一想那我脱光看你们怎么让我下去拿。没想到他们马上凑上来拍了照，突然发现了一件非常可怕的事情：威胁我下去拿。。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 朋友问我为什么还不找男朋友？我说：“孙悟空等唐僧等了五百年，龙葵等景天等了一千年，我着什么急。”朋友说：“你一个最多活两集的人，和大结局都不死的人比？”我。。。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 朋友问我为什么还不找男朋友？我说：“孙悟空等唐僧等了五百年，龙葵等景天等了一千年，我着什么急。”朋友说：“你一个最多活两集的人，和大结局都不死的人比？”我。。。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 成功的人，成功原因是各种各样的，不成功的人，重要原因只有一点：不够努力。所以，从今天起，我决定要做一个——莫名其妙就成功的人。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 成功的人，成功原因是各种各样的，不成功的人，重要原因只有一点：不够努力。所以，从今天起，我决定要做一个——莫名其妙就成功的人。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 凭自己本事借来的钱为什么要还？诸葛亮草船借箭还了吗？刘备借荆州还了吗？借钱都要还的话，以后谁还敢借？

CS:GO ARMS RACE 凭自己本事借来的钱为什么要还？诸葛亮草船借箭还了吗？刘备借荆州还了吗？借钱都要还的话，以后谁还敢借？

CS:GO ARMS RACE “钱，其实够花就好。”一个土豪淡然地对我说，“买个别墅、游艇啥的，不用跟谁借。”

CS:GO ARMS RACE “钱，其实够花就好。”一个土豪淡然地对我说，“买个别墅、游艇啥的，不用跟谁借。”

CS:GO ARMS RACE 女A：听说你离婚了，孩子判给谁了。女B：判给他了。女A：那你还笑得这么开心。女B：反正孩子又不是他的。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 女A：听说你离婚了，孩子判给谁了。女B：判给他了。女A：那你还笑得这么开心。女B：反正孩子又不是他的。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 我：初恋是拿来练手的！闺蜜：放屁，单身才是用来练手的！

CS:GO ARMS RACE 我：初恋是拿来练手的！闺蜜：放屁，单身才是用来练手的！

CS:GO ARMS RACE 我今天下午练吉他，不小心把弦绷断了。结果女友来了句：缺根弦的人就爱玩这种缺根弦的东西。。。我@!#!@#$

CS:GO ARMS RACE 我今天下午练吉他，不小心把弦绷断了。结果女友来了句：缺根弦的人就爱玩这种缺根弦的东西。。。我@!#!@#$

CS:GO ARMS RACE 喝东西往身上滴，吃食物往身上溅，水笔油不小心就往身上画，走到哪里都容易擦到灰，别人手上脏却偏要往你身上蹭，如果在一天之内频繁遇到这些事情，那你今天可能是穿了白衬衫。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 喝东西往身上滴，吃食物往身上溅，水笔油不小心就往身上画，走到哪里都容易擦到灰，别人手上脏却偏要往你身上蹭，如果在一天之内频繁遇到这些事情，那你今天可能是穿了白衬衫。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 我觉得自己连电池都不如：充电8小时，从洗漱完到公司就把电量消耗完了。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 我觉得自己连电池都不如：充电8小时，从洗漱完到公司就把电量消耗完了。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 你任何为人称道的美丽，不及我第一次遇见你闺蜜。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 你任何为人称道的美丽，不及我第一次遇见你闺蜜。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 女友：“爱与被爱有啥区别？”我：“区别可大了！爱是奉献是付出是很伟大的，被爱是长得好看。”女友。。。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 女友：“爱与被爱有啥区别？”我：“区别可大了！爱是奉献是付出是很伟大的，被爱是长得好看。”女友。。。

CS:GO ARMS RACE I love my job only when I’m on vacation.

CS:GO ARMS RACE I love my job only when I’m on vacation.

CS:GO ARMS RACE 在超市看到绿茶，就想起一次逛街，买了一瓶绿茶，拧开瓶盖一看“再来一瓶”，换了之后再拧开看看，结果又中了！高兴地换了之后，我突然发现了手拿两瓶没盖的绿茶

CS:GO ARMS RACE 在超市看到绿茶，就想起一次逛街，买了一瓶绿茶，拧开瓶盖一看“再来一瓶”，换了之后再拧开看看，结果又中了！高兴地换了之后，我突然发现了手拿两瓶没盖的绿茶

CS:GO ARMS RACE 我：急救中心的电话号码设置为120是提醒我们：如果一个女人体重超过120斤就需要被送去急救中心抢救了。闺蜜：是呀是呀，体重到110就要报警，到119已经是十万火急了！

CS:GO ARMS RACE 我：急救中心的电话号码设置为120是提醒我们：如果一个女人体重超过120斤就需要被送去急救中心抢救了。闺蜜：是呀是呀，体重到110就要报警，到119已经是十万火急了！

CS:GO ARMS RACE 本人胖妹一枚，今天在街上走，有人给我发健身房小广告，我说我已经有健身卡了。发广告小弟打量我一下说：“哦？你没有坚持去吧？”当街我。。。我就被气哭了。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 本人胖妹一枚，今天在街上走，有人给我发健身房小广告，我说我已经有健身卡了。发广告小弟打量我一下说：“哦？你没有坚持去吧？”当街我。。。我就被气哭了。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 今天去贴手机膜问师傅：“多少钱？”“10块。”“能便宜点不”师傅：“膜，10块，免费贴膜。”我听了这话默默的从兜里拿出一张膜。。。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 今天去贴手机膜问师傅：“多少钱？”“10块。”“能便宜点不”师傅：“膜，10块，免费贴膜。”我听了这话默默的从兜里拿出一张膜。。。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 我是个比较传统的人，我不喜欢笑友们那种一言不合就上床的行为！我认为一段完美的感情，需要有情节，有发展，有故事。。。要含蓄，不能太直接。最起码上床之前也要请人吃顿饭。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 我是个比较传统的人，我不喜欢笑友们那种一言不合就上床的行为！我认为一段完美的感情，需要有情节，有发展，有故事。。。要含蓄，不能太直接。最起码上床之前也要请人吃顿饭。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 某男找小姐，谈价钱时发现一个小姐的价格比别的都贵，好奇问到你为什么比别人都贵呢？小姐骄傲的说：我是大学生。此男来了句：你又不是学这个专业的。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 某男找小姐，谈价钱时发现一个小姐的价格比别的都贵，好奇问到你为什么比别人都贵呢？小姐骄傲的说：我是大学生。此男来了句：你又不是学这个专业的。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 匡衡的邻居看见墙上有个洞，就把它封上了。匡衡在隔壁大喊：“你就不能给我点亮吗？”邻居：“好的，你在哪个平台直播？”

CS:GO ARMS RACE 匡衡的邻居看见墙上有个洞，就把它封上了。匡衡在隔壁大喊：“你就不能给我点亮吗？”邻居：“好的，你在哪个平台直播？”

CS:GO ARMS RACE 刚谈了个女朋友，我发朋友圈：“认识你之前，我是个硬汉，认识你之后，我变温柔了。”损友回复：“卧艹，能把阳痿说得这么浪漫的也就只有你了。”

CS:GO ARMS RACE 刚谈了个女朋友，我发朋友圈：“认识你之前，我是个硬汉，认识你之后，我变温柔了。”损友回复：“卧艹，能把阳痿说得这么浪漫的也就只有你了。”

CS:GO ARMS RACE 同事昨天刚新婚今天就住院了，大家带着礼物去看他，大姐问：“你这是用了啥高难度动作，肋骨都能弄骨折？”同事：“姐啊！我媳妇儿早上醒来，发现被窝里多了个人，一脚就踹下床了”

CS:GO ARMS RACE 同事昨天刚新婚今天就住院了，大家带着礼物去看他，大姐问：“你这是用了啥高难度动作，肋骨都能弄骨折？”同事：“姐啊！我媳妇儿早上醒来，发现被窝里多了个人，一脚就踹下床了”

CS:GO ARMS RACE 我十分思念人在异地的女友，便给她发了一条信息：亲爱的，我想你想的手都酸了。没过一会，她回过来：换个手继续想。。。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 我十分思念人在异地的女友，便给她发了一条信息：亲爱的，我想你想的手都酸了。没过一会，她回过来：换个手继续想。。。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 今天我跟一美女同事说：“我身上有一个地方充血、发硬、变粗你要不要看看？”啪！就挨了一耳光。MLGB，我只是想说，我的一根指头受伤肿了，瞧这一耳光挨的。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 今天我跟一美女同事说：“我身上有一个地方充血、发硬、变粗你要不要看看？”啪！就挨了一耳光。MLGB，我只是想说，我的一根指头受伤肿了，瞧这一耳光挨的。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 一对情侣不知在商量什么，男的有点不耐烦。女生气的说：你说你耐力不行吧，怎么耐性也不行，还要不要谈下去了？！男。。。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 一对情侣不知在商量什么，男的有点不耐烦。女生气的说：你说你耐力不行吧，怎么耐性也不行，还要不要谈下去了？！男。。。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 再也不要玩手机了，今天低头看手机，正好老板来了，我就急忙说了一句 “群主早！”。。。年底了又要找工作了。。。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 再也不要玩手机了，今天低头看手机，正好老板来了，我就急忙说了一句 “群主早！”。。。年底了又要找工作了。。。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 老妈说快过年了，让我赶紧找个男朋友回来。其实我个人觉得吧，这单身也未必就不是一件好事，起码你不用担心对象出轨啊！

CS:GO ARMS RACE 老妈说快过年了，让我赶紧找个男朋友回来。其实我个人觉得吧，这单身也未必就不是一件好事，起码你不用担心对象出轨啊！

CS:GO ARMS RACE 一辆火车上，一位老大爷拍了拍另一位小伙子的肩膀说：“年轻人，不要因为手机而错过了沿途的风景啊。”小伙子望了望穿窗外，沉默了两秒对大爷说到:你TM逗我呢吧大爷

CS:GO ARMS RACE 一辆火车上，一位老大爷拍了拍另一位小伙子的肩膀说：“年轻人，不要因为手机而错过了沿途的风景啊。”小伙子望了望穿窗外，沉默了两秒对大爷说到:你TM逗我呢吧大爷

CS:GO ARMS RACE 一个人出差到，晚上住宾馆，半天睡的正香听见走廊有个女人砸对门房门，好像是捉奸，对门死活不开！那女的喊道：不开是不是，不开我马上绿了你！我连忙打开了门。。。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 一个人出差到，晚上住宾馆，半天睡的正香听见走廊有个女人砸对门房门，好像是捉奸，对门死活不开！那女的喊道：不开是不是，不开我马上绿了你！我连忙打开了门。。。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 准备追售货妹子，每天都要去光顾好多次，每次都去买点不值钱的东西，然后装B拿100元让妹子找钱。过了一段时间，妹子开口说话了：你是做什么的，天天上我这来换零钱。。。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 准备追售货妹子，每天都要去光顾好多次，每次都去买点不值钱的东西，然后装B拿100元让妹子找钱。过了一段时间，妹子开口说话了：你是做什么的，天天上我这来换零钱。。。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 作文课，讲述和自己印象最深的动物之间的故事，举头撞墙想了半天，不知如何下笔。。。遂偷窥同桌寻找思路，当场喷血-----标题：奶奶的熊。。。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 作文课，讲述和自己印象最深的动物之间的故事，举头撞墙想了半天，不知如何下笔。。。遂偷窥同桌寻找思路，当场喷血-----标题：奶奶的熊。。。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 女友生病了，又是咳嗽又是吐的，身体很虚弱，我问她说：你现在有什么感受吗？只听这货慢悠悠地说：我现在病的这么严重，不知道能不能瘦一点！

CS:GO ARMS RACE 女友生病了，又是咳嗽又是吐的，身体很虚弱，我问她说：你现在有什么感受吗？只听这货慢悠悠地说：我现在病的这么严重，不知道能不能瘦一点！

CS:GO ARMS RACE 二货女友突然问：“假如以后你娶的不是我，你和你孩子和我相遇，你会怎么跟你儿子介绍我？”我：“我会跟孩子说，就是这个女人，当初想阻止你来到这个美好的世界上的。”

CS:GO ARMS RACE 二货女友突然问：“假如以后你娶的不是我，你和你孩子和我相遇，你会怎么跟你儿子介绍我？”我：“我会跟孩子说，就是这个女人，当初想阻止你来到这个美好的世界上的。”

CS:GO ARMS RACE 人的寿命果然与所在地域关系甚大。我们就说今天中午上海做热干面的师傅吧，四十多岁了看上去还很健康，就他这手艺要搁在武汉过早早被打死了。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 人的寿命果然与所在地域关系甚大。我们就说今天中午上海做热干面的师傅吧，四十多岁了看上去还很健康，就他这手艺要搁在武汉过早早被打死了。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 爱上做饭了，喜欢那种认真备料、精心调配、煎炒闷煮后做出一坨屎的感觉，就像我的人生。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 爱上做饭了，喜欢那种认真备料、精心调配、煎炒闷煮后做出一坨屎的感觉，就像我的人生。

CS:GO ARMS RACE “问你个问题，你只要回答知道或不知道就可以了。”“好啊！”“你这么傻B，你家人知道吗？”。。。

CS:GO ARMS RACE “问你个问题，你只要回答知道或不知道就可以了。”“好啊！”“你这么傻B，你家人知道吗？”。。。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 男：“你说0大还是1大？”女：“当然是0大啦。”男：“不可能吧！你解释下。”女：“这都不懂，0里面可以装下1，但1能装得下0吗！”

CS:GO ARMS RACE 男：“你说0大还是1大？”女：“当然是0大啦。”男：“不可能吧！你解释下。”女：“这都不懂，0里面可以装下1，但1能装得下0吗！”

CS:GO ARMS RACE 一姐们住在我们家，除了吃就是睡，估计放屁都闲麻烦。。。一天喊她起来扫地，我说你懒死了不能起来动动啊。她神回复一句：知道我懒还喊我，是不是傻？！我。。。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 一姐们住在我们家，除了吃就是睡，估计放屁都闲麻烦。。。一天喊她起来扫地，我说你懒死了不能起来动动啊。她神回复一句：知道我懒还喊我，是不是傻？！我。。。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 同事问我，你找对象是不是要求太高了，到现在还是一个人。我说哪有，就一个标准，不嫌弃我穷就行。同事：你这要求也太高了吧！

CS:GO ARMS RACE 同事问我，你找对象是不是要求太高了，到现在还是一个人。我说哪有，就一个标准，不嫌弃我穷就行。同事：你这要求也太高了吧！

CS:GO ARMS RACE 女A：男人不到30，就没有魅力！女B：你说的是分钟还是秒？

CS:GO ARMS RACE 女A：男人不到30，就没有魅力！女B：你说的是分钟还是秒？

CS:GO ARMS RACE 最近看新闻总看到裸贷，这些裸贷具有十分强烈的性别歧视，凭什么就不贷给我们男的，我也可以拍裸照啊，我也可以肉偿啊！希望相关部门严查一下，男女平等要从各行各业上实现平等！

CS:GO ARMS RACE 最近看新闻总看到裸贷，这些裸贷具有十分强烈的性别歧视，凭什么就不贷给我们男的，我也可以拍裸照啊，我也可以肉偿啊！希望相关部门严查一下，男女平等要从各行各业上实现平等！

CS:GO ARMS RACE 我以为女神拒绝我是因为我丑，穷，矬，没想到还因为我是个男的。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 我以为女神拒绝我是因为我丑，穷，矬，没想到还因为我是个男的。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 一美女发了张自拍，下面一群人赞赏，有说漂亮的、有说性感的，唯独一货说道：“不好意思，我去上趟厕所。”我感觉这才是最好的夸奖。。。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 一美女发了张自拍，下面一群人赞赏，有说漂亮的、有说性感的，唯独一货说道：“不好意思，我去上趟厕所。”我感觉这才是最好的夸奖。。。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 和哥们一块出去，我俩想买内裤，到内裤店里看到美女服务员，哥们儿张口就说：“美女，我要买你内裤！”结果被打出来了。。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 和哥们一块出去，我俩想买内裤，到内裤店里看到美女服务员，哥们儿张口就说：“美女，我要买你内裤！”结果被打出来了。。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 去相亲，那妹子虽然算不上大美女，但也算是长相甜美。我顺便问了一句：你以前搞过对象没？她脸一红，说：谈过，但还没搞过。。。我。。。

CS:GO ARMS RACE 去相亲，那妹子虽然算不上大美女，但也算是长相甜美。我顺便问了一句：你以前搞过对象没？她脸一红，说：谈过，但还没搞过。。。我。。。