Bethany looks down at the lifeless Old Man. She smiles.
BETHANY
I hope you're the skee-ball type.
She yanks the cords from the wall and from the Old Man's body. Beeping-warnings go off and the Old Man's body convulses.
Silent Bob charges toward NoNlan. NoNian charges right back.
EXT SAINT MICHAEL'S CHURCH - DAY
Bartleby looks skyward.
BARTLEBY
THIS ENDS NOW! YOUR TIME HAS COME!!!
INT SAINT MICHAEL'S CHURCH
Bethany looks on nervously as the Old Man's body thrashes.
Silent Bob charges closer to NoMan.
Suddenly, the convulsing of the Old Man's body stops. A smile crosses his face.
And out of nowhere - HUGE FUCKING LIGHT erupts from his chest, shootingthrough the ceiling. One stray branching off to touch...
NoMan the Golgothan. Struck by a beam, he screams and explodes scattering what looks like hard clay everywhere.
Silent Bob - charging forward, eyes closed - races over the top of the destroyed Golgothan, smashing head first into the wall at the end of the coridoor.
Bethany climbs to her feet and looks into the bed. There's no sign of the light. She quickly turns to exit and is lanced with a hockey stick through her stomach.
A badly burned, half-decomposed Stygian Triplet pushes the blade into Bethany, laughing. Silent Bob kicks the door open, grabs the thing by the arm and whips it through the window. He wipes off his hand and turns around. His expression goes pale.
EXT SAINT MICHAEL'S
Bartleby storms across the pavement, racing for the church doors. He reaches them and flings them open. HUGE FUCKING LIGHT blinds him, and he drops to his knees. Cowering, he looks up.
Metatron stands beside a VERY BEAUTIFUL WOMAN - in the doorway.
METATRON
Oh Bartleby... was Wisconsin really that bad?
Serendipity and Rufus drop to their knees and bow. Jay looks at them.
JAY
Now what the hell's going on?! Who's the super-model?!
RUFUS
(pulling at Jay's cuff)
Bow down, stupid
Metatron
steps away. The Woman stares at Bartleby. Bartleby cowers. fetal-like. The Woman lays Her hand on his shoulder, helping him to his feet. He stands in awe. She embraces him. He weeps, joyfully. She steps back and looks at Metatron. Metatron nods and addresses Jay, Rufus, and Serendipity.
METATRON
Anyone who isn't dead or from another plane of existence would do well to cover their ears right about now.
Serendipity and Rufus tackle Jay and hug his head, covering his ears as tightly as they can.
The Woman turns back to Bartleby. Her expression hardens. His eyes widen, and then he nods in understanding. He manages a half-smile.
BARTLEBY
Thank you.
The Woman opens her mouth and emits a noise so cacophonous, it calls to mind the days of Sens-a-round. It's a mixture of trumpets, whale-songs, fog-horns, and a sonic-boom. It remains one long note that builds in intensity.
Bartleby's head explodes, as does his chest. His body drops to his knees and falls forward. The Woman closes her mouth and the noise stops. She walks away.
Rufus and Serendipity look up, releasing Jay. They drop to their bowing positions. Jay's in a panic. The Woman joins Metatron again.
JAY
What the fuck is this?! Who the fuck is this chick?! Why the fuck did you hug my head?!
METATRON
Quite a little mouth on him, isn't there?
The Woman nods.
JAY
What the fuck is this - 'The Piano'? Why ain't this broad talking?!
METATRON
Young man, I believe the answers you seek are within my companion's eyes.
JAY
What the fuck does that mean?! Has everyone just gone nuts?! What the fuck happened to that guy's head?! I want some...
The Woman stands before Jay and looks him in the eyes. Jay freezes. His expression softens. The Woman slowly smiles at him, leans forward, and kisses his cheek. She exits, leaving Jay standing there, speechless.
