Mother Silouana (Vlad) talks about the differences between love and emotional dependency, a common topic among young women. The spiritual work of marriage begins with recognizing the futility of trying to change one's partner. The only change we can make is in ourselves and we should focus on our change.

Contemporary Moral Issues Series
Subtitles: English, Romanian
Video source: [ Ссылка ]

Mother Silouana:
"For a girl that is emotionally addicted... that means she is addicted to the fear of remaining unmarried... This is also an emotional addiction. We were told so much that we are not human if we do not marry and that it’s not good to stay unmarried and we must marry… so that she says, “This one is a clumsy guy, but there's nothing I can do, I can’t find a better one, I will take this one”.

And this is the first part of stupidity, the second part is even more serious, when she says: “I will change him the way I want!” Not to mention that he also thinks the same way: “I will make a great person out of her!”.

So, these are all realities of our sick love and are, in fact, true love upside down. In a true, healthy love, I am called to say, “I will change myself. How bad I react when he does that... Lord, help me to change myself! Change me, Lord!”

The only change we can make is in ourselves and we should focus on our change. This is the healthy way."

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