What is the love avoidance cycle, what do you really know, Dr. Kate Balestrieri is here to help you start understanding just that as well as talk about avoiding the pattern of what Intimacy and Emotional Unavailability.
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Dr. Kate discusses how someone in a love addiction cycle generally pairs up with someone in a love avoidance cycle, because their needs are similar but opposite in terms of how they're expressed. Someone in a love avoidance cycle typically enters a relationship under a feeling of obligation or duty. They believe they "should", it's expected, or they don't want to hurt someone else. They are very aware of the expectations of the person they're in a relationship with, and they are able to pour themselves into that "role". As a child they likely learned to perform for a parent for approval. However, it's very burdensome to not show up as their authentic self, so they start to feel angry, overwhelmed and resentful. Over time, those feelings are so big that the loving has to break. The pressure to be the person they're expected to be is too much.

However, since they're committed unconsciously to being a "good" person, it isn't always safe to express anger, boundaries or resentment. They need a break or space but don't know how to ask for it successfully, so they often become obsessive about things outside of the relationship. They might get really committed to work projects, infidelities, substance abuse, eating disorders, become hyper-focussed on their kids or preoccupied in friends' dramas. They find any reason to divert attention away from their partner and get a break from the overwhelm and calm their nervous system. They then are able to return to the relationship, but still from a place of duty.

The primary underlying fear of someone in a love-avoidance cycle is intimacy, because they don't have good boundaries and don't know how to express themselves in an effective way. Their fear is that if they give any bit of themselves to their partner, their partner will consume them. The secondary fear of someone in a love-avoidance cycle is being abandoned. This puts them in the position of having to choose between authenticity and the role the partner wants them to be, because they don't want to be alone and also don't want to betray themselves.


Other videos we enjoy on this topic:

Kristin Snowden
Intimacy Disorders: Love Addict Love Avoidant Toxic Relationship Cycle
[ Ссылка ]


DoctorRamani
What is "intimacy avoidance"? (Glossary of Narcissistic Relationships)
[ Ссылка ]

Candace van Dell
The Love Addict & Love Avoidant Relationship Dynamic
[ Ссылка ]

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#Love #LoveAvoidance #LoveAvoidanceCycle

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