Nicole Kidman is an Australian actress who was married to Tom Cruise at some point. She starred in a lot of movies in the past, like Batman, Eyes Wide Shut, and hosted Saturday Night Live once in the 1990s. She might have done it again, but no one knows.
She's a prolific performer for a variety of reasons, but at the top of the list is her ability to elicit embarrassment and surprise at the sight of a penis or implied penis in someone's pants. This is a widely unknown fact.
Since January of 2018, exactly one year after Donald J. Trump was sworn into office, we've been watching Nicole Kidman's films that she has acted in and studied her scene work, especially those scenes in which she reacts to penises.
We are of the opinion that when you watch enough of an actor or actresses' work, you will begin to see patterns in their acting method, quirks that may be written off by the layman or casual viewer, but to expert Kidman-ite's like us, we took notice, and we want the world to see her work.
Nicole Kidman is not British. She is Australian. if you say she is British, she may be offended. We've learned in our studies that British people and Australian people do not like to be confused with one another. I think New Zealand gets mad too. Don't say she's from New Zealand.
As for her marriage to Tom Cruise, it's clear from our research that the marriage failed as a result of Nicole Kidman looking at Wolverine's penis in the romantic-comedy-adventure-epic-foreign film 'Australia.' When Jack Hugeman pulled his pants up so as not to reveal his penis, Nicole gave a look to him as if to say, "What? I wasn't looking at your penis." She didn't even see it, but she knew it was there.
We all did.
Tom was jealous, even though in the scene in 'Far and Away' in which Nicole Kidman looked at his penis, she actually saw his penis, and for a much longer period of time. This is because Tom specifically requested the scene to last a minimum of four-and-a-half minutes, but producers managed to talk him down to roughly twenty seconds. Still, the scene is long enough to establish that Nicole Kidman's character was not only flustered by looking at the penis, but her mind raced with the possibilities of what the penis could do.
There are not a lot of scenes in movies in which characters look at penises. This could have something to do with how shocking external male genitalia is in film. Notice how in the scenes in which Nicole Kidman looks at penises, she may she the penises, but we, the audience, the viewers, do not. This is a disappointment, but one that should be expected in an industry bent on not telling the whole truth.
Some other penis scenes in movies include:
- that one part of Forgetting Sarah Marshall when Jason Segal drops his towel
- that part in One Hour Photo when Robin Williams threatens that guy with a knife and he drops his towel
- anything by Lars von Trier
- most pornography
- you can almost see Tom Hanks' penis on Forrest Gump, but he covers his with a towel (unfortunate)
- there might be one in Star Wars (unconfirmed)
- the alien in 'Alien' looks like a penis but it is not
- most of season 6 of Seinfeld
but there may be more.
If you watch this video and you are inspired and you can think of other movies in which penises are not only shown on-screen but are seen by other characters who are then flustered by seeing the penis, please let us know in the comments.
God bless America, and God bless April 1st.
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