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Dr. Joe Beam reveals the keys to understanding your spouse while they are having an affair. Understanding what your spouse is thinking during an affair is important to the healing of yourself and your marriage.
You are a lot stronger than you think you are. Sometimes, affairs happen where your spouse is a good person doing a bad thing. Sometimes, your spouse is a person who will keep falling into a spiral of bad actions. You must ask yourself: is this person worth rescuing? What kind of marriage can we have? Typically, if you and your spouse can work hard and save your relationship, it will come out even stronger than it was before. First, accept the fact that what they're doing is not your fault. Even if you're not perfect, it does not justify your spouse's actions. Second, try to understand that your spouse probably didn't have an affair in order to hurt you. Try not to take what they say personally, and make an effort to be there for them. If you can be the person to rescue and work with your husband or wife to bring them back to who they used to be (or better), you are trying to understand how they feel. The hard part will be to accept what your spouse feels, even if you don't like it. You will then find the strength in yourself to be a safe place for your spouse.
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