Red Dead Redemption, at its core, is a game about love. But the developers, being Rockstar and whatnot, really wanted the game to be about hate. And what do gamers hate more than themselves? Zombies. Can You Beat Red Dead Redemption’s Undead Nightmare DLC With Only A Torch?

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Can You Beat Undead Nightmare With Only A Torch? (in text form)

Our story begins, like all stories, at the main menu where I sat for a solid 30 minutes while I had a good cry and prepared myself for the Hell I’ve set up for me. Then you select Undead Nightmare from the menu and you’re greeted with a classic Rockstar opening cinematic. Make no mistake, this game is only for the smart horror fans. Those of you who are fake fans will miss the subtle details like the game beginning in the dead of night.

Daddy arrives home to woman and son bickering like fictional family members, boy gets told not to have too much to think, and old man Willabey breaks into the house. Then he bites the woman, forcing you to put him down. Problem is, we don’t yet have a torch. The only other option is punching the undead man to death and kick him while he’s down. Unfortunately, no matter how many times you punch a zombie, he won’t die. I was forced to use the gun, Playable Character’s wife A big wail bit the boy, I tied them both up with a piece of string, locked them in the master bedroom together for some family time, and set off to figure out what was happening in the world and how to solve it.

Still torchless, I rode into Blackwater, the nearest town, just in time to run into the Professor and see him get eaten. I knew he was gonna die, nerds always do. But a cool manly man like myself who doesn’t have a big nose or a perpetual cold always survive. Because I didn’t have a torch yet and fists do nothing, I decided to lasso any zombies who got in my way. Hogtying would take too much time but simply knocking them over by ripping their feet off from under them buys you a bit of time.

This hysterical chick told me about her long since dead family coming back home from getting cigarettes, she gave me a torch, and told me to kill her Uncle if I saw him. Didn’t say what he looked like so I just kinda ignored it and set off for Blackwater Cementary. At first, I thought the Torch would be just alright, like a melee weapon only play through, but it’s actually little better than alright. For one thing, unlike the torches you’d find in a bad game like Elder Scroll 5, these, because Rockstar is a good game, don’t burn out. You can hold it forever and never worry about anything. This is the video game equivalent of plugging an extension cord into itself.

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