Welcome to chapter 11 in Psycho-Cybernetics. In this chapter we discuss How to Unlock your Personality.

Personality is what we are. It is the make-up of all of our experiences, combined with what it is what we want to do with our lives and how we express ourselves. There is no right or wrong personality, it is simply who we become and again how we express ourselves to the world. Personality is both a magnetic and mysterious force. It is released from within.

Personality is the outward evidence of that unique and individual creative self, made from our creator, that is the freest and full expression of our real self. A strong personality can have a strong impact and influence on other people. When we take the time to truly understand ourselves and really tune into who we are and what we want out of life, we can’t help but not express this to the world.

Everyone has Personality locked up within Themselves
Every human being has a personality. When we say that someone has a good personality, what we are really saying is that he or she has freed and released the creative potential within themselves and can express themselves freely. A poor personality is someone who is inhibited in their expression. They are handcuffed and locked up who they really are and do not express themselves freely to the world.

In terms of self-expression, we are all guilty of modifying our true selves to be likable, relatable, and fit into the normal. It can be intense for us to be an outcast from our culture, friends and society, so at times, we will adjust our personality towards specific events or people to be sure we are “accepted”. I do want to drill in that we should never change our process of developing who we are because of other people’s opinions of us.

As we begin to find what we like, our strengths, our weaknesses, our interests, our careers, we must leverage everything to continuously work on our personality. Own who you are and find confidence in developing this personality. We want to find people who are supportive of our best version.

Let us take a specific social example of how we continue to develop our personality. In any sort of social relationship or situation, we are constantly receiving positive and negative feedback from our peers. A smile, a laugh, awkward silence, subtle cues of approval or disapproval, lack of interest or major engagement into what we are saying. All of this is feedback we receive when expressing ourselves. We must learn to stand our ground in some areas and adapt to some negative feedback. Without this back and forth of communication, we would never have a chance to develop our personality.

Sometimes, we can get into our own head when it comes to being socially accepted. Often times, people will stay reserved or too themselves when they are social to defend against being judged or made fun of. This can lead to becoming a quiet person socially and something this is okay, but others times it can lead to diminishing your self expression. Being liked vs being who you are is the battle we face. To be honest, more self expression can lead to more of a risk of being disliked or judged. Remember, this is okay because if you have a developed self acceptance, esteem and confidence, you simply are who you are and that should not change how you express yourself in front of people.

Balance and harmony are what we are looking to achieve. Our overall goal in cybernetics is to have an adequate, self-fulfilling, creative personality. The path to achieving this is to battle test your developing personality through life. There is no shame in changing yourself for the better, if you feel change is necessary. You should never change who you are for anyone because that means you are not expressing yourself fully. Full expression of yourself will lead to where you are supposed to be in life in terms of friends, career, personal happiness, etc..

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