Ok there was this war
The Peloponnesian War
Greece was kinda tore-up
(it wasnt an easy war)

And all the city-states
They felt a lotta hate
They didnt trust each other
And they didnt conjugate

But over to the North
Was Macedonia
Now usually my rhymes are hot
But Ive got pneumonia

So back to the thing:
There was a curly haired King
Who was known as Phillip Two
Phillip One I never knew

Now when Phillip was a kid
You know what he did?
He spent some time in Greece, man.
And he thought it was Beastin

Phillip thought the Greeks
Were really cool and clever
He spent his life
With his wife
Who by now was preggers

With Alexander
Alexander the Great
Alexander
Alexander the Great
Is Great Great Great Great Great Great Great

When Alexander was a boy
Phillip didnt give him toys
He had a dagger in his bed
And Homers Illiad

Now Phillip conquered Greece
And kind of united it
Now the city states were his
Now the city states werent fighting
But Phillip didnt last
I wish that it was sweeter
But he got stabbed by a knife
By a guy in a theater

So suddenly
At twenty
Alexanders in charge
With his dagger and his ego
b-b-b-big as a barge

He had this little dream
That you might think is weird
He set out to conquer the whole world
At rule for all his years

He would be Alexander
Alexander the Great
Alexander
Alexander the Great
Is Great Great Great Great Great Great Great

So Alex took and army
And took over Persian lands
And renamed lots of cities
So they knew who was The Man:

Alexandria
Alexandria
Alexandria
Alexandropolis

He told the people in the cities
That he was more than pretty
That he was now their ruler
Thought they were democracies

And he told them bout the Greeks ways
And how to spend their Greek days
And showed them lots of Greek plays
And ate a lot of Mayonnaise (*not true)

Now you know theyve got a word
For all of these places
They were very far from Greece
But the Greek ways they embraced

They were HELLENIC
HELLENIC
They were similar to Greece
Heres your new vocabulary
HELLENIC
HELLENIC

They were hella Hellenic
Kinda sorta authentic


And wouldnt you know it?
But Alex really showed it
He built a massive empire
And didnt even blow it

But he wanted to keep going
Didnt want to stop the flowing
He wanted India next
So his empire could keep growing

But No his soldiers said
Wed be better off dead!
They turned around
Headed back to town
And Alexander hung his head

So he went to live in Babylon
And figure out a plan
But soon his head was sweating
And his fever began

As he lay in bed dying
His assistants asked
Alexander, when you die,
Who should continue your task?

Now everybody knows
That when youre gonna die
You better say something
Thatll make everyone cry

So Alexander raised his hand
And gave his last remark:
Give my empire to the strongest one
The macho-est Macho-arch

And all the little generals
Tried to fight for his thrown
Like Diodoris, and Curtius, and Mr. Cerrone
[***note: this last line is totally wrong. Diodoris and Curtius were historians, I believe. And Mr. Cerrone was a professional wrestler at the time, not a general. -Mr. W]

But nobody could do it
Nobody could manage
I mean, he's "Alexander the Great"
not "Alexander the Average"

He was Alexander
Alexander the Great
Alexander
Alexander the Great
Is Great Great Great Great Great Great Great

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