The Queen's Guard - the regiment tasked with protecting the Queen's cutlery - has shot and killed an innocent bystander.

Reporting live from the action, a stern Andrew Neil wobbled up to the guard to deliver a swift punch to the temple - knocking out and killing the guard.

An irate Andrew Neil then armed himself with the gun, spraying onlookers and yelling 'Allahu Akbar' - raising and waving the Black Standard of Islamism across Buckingham Palace.

Andrew Neil - a prominent member of ISIS - was subsequently shot, deflated and buried in accordance with strict Islamic doctrine.

His wig is now available for public viewing at the British War Museum.

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