Three Effective Options that Together Can Lift A Depressive Dark Cloud

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TRANSCRIPT

Everyone from time to time feels depressed. It's kind of the common cold of mental health. Sometimes, a depression becomes quite serious. In the extreme, it can be incapacitating, you can't get your work done, you could even become suicidal.

Today I'll be giving you 3 prescriptions. To understand why these three prescriptions work, it helps us to understand where depression comes from. Here's the lay of the land. It's what I call the hand map. Understanding the hand map explains why the three prescriptions I'm about to give you work. You can read more about it here:

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Prescription number 1: Pinpoint the problem. This can be hard when you're in a dark cloud of depression. So I'll give you an extra little technique that helps you to pinpoint what the problem was. Once you've pinpointed it, if you've been depressed, depression is a disorder of power. Your serotonin goes down and you feel internally smaller or less powerful. Not strong enough, not empowered enough to actually solve the problem.

So step number 2 is pump up. Then you're ready for prescription number 3 which is problem-solving. The three Ps are pinpoint, pump up, and problem solve. I'll explain how they work.

Let's invite in Yolanda.

Yolanda, with your eyes closed, allow an image to come up on your visual screen of someone or something other than yourself that you could feel angry at, maybe irritated, frustrated or maybe really angry. Now put yourself in the scene as well. What bothers you? And notice what you want.

If you're doing this exercise on your own you would ask yourself these questions or have a friend ask you (just jot them down).

Yolanda said: I see myself in the conference room at my office. I work in a large construction company about once a week we have meetings with all the project managers.

What's the problem there, in this scene? What do you want? Yolanda said: What I want is to be heard and to be taken seriously. All the other people are men, and they almost outdo themselves and each other in their ability to ignore me, tell me what's wrong with what I said, or respond to me in a depricating 'you dummy' kind of voice. I just hate it.

Now we've pinpointed the problem: Let's double check with one more question to make sure it's depressogenic (depression causing). Here's the question: As you're looking at that scene, who looks bigger? The men, or you? Yolanda said: Oh I feel like about the size of a six or seven year old girl and they look huge. They are big, like football-player type matcho guys.

When there's a size discrepancy in the visualization, that corresponds to a power issue. And depression is a disorder of power. That means we found the right moment to be problem solving for. But we can't problem solve yet, first we need prescription number 2! Pump up!

To be effective, you have to feel an inner sense of confidence and effectiveness. Yolanda is going to get that by visualizing herself getting stronger. Yolanda - Please take a deep breath. Then with each successive breath, see yourself getting larger and larger and stronger and taller. How tall are you now? Yolanda said: I'm almost as big as them. Take a few more breaths, and use this new power to get yourself even taller. Suddenly Yolanda said: my head is about to bump to the ceiling!

Once you like the size, you're ready to move on to prescription number 3. Problem solving. From this larger size, what can you see that you couldn't see when you were feeling small. Because problem solving begins with gathering additional data. Well, Yolanda said, I actually see now that the big guys aren't as big as I thought. They seem a little insecure, probably because I have a masters degree. I also notice that when I offer my perspective, I do it in this little childlike voice. I do it with a question mark in my voice. No wonder they don't listen to me!

With this additional data, we can begin to problem solve. What might be a solution to getting yourself heard and respected in that situation? If I, before I talk, picture myself being big like this, I would be able to speak in a louder voice and stand up for myself.

I asked Yolanda: How are you feeling right now? Yolanda said: There's no more dark cloud, it's lifted. And in fact, I can feel the sun and enjoy the brightness and being out in the daylight again. Life is not meant to be an endurance contest. You, too, can feel better when a dark cloud of depression sinks down over you. Pinpoint the problem, pump up, and problem solve.

Enjoy!

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