Imagine if the most in-demand distillery in the United Stated put out a bottle of straight bourbon from the same mashbill as the Eagle Rare and Stagg lines, presented strong enough to light on fire. Now imagine it selling for $23 retail and actually being pretty good. And then you only have to imagine _absolutely no one caring_ and you'll have accurately pictured the product we have up for review in this week's bonus video:

- Benchmark "Full Proof" Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey (Buffalo Trace Distillery, Frankfort; mashbill no. 1, non-age stated/4+ years old, bottled circa 2023; 62.5% ABV), 83/100

This might be the funniest thing I have ever reviewed, and that includes Mellow Corn. Especially with water it's a dead ringer for (early) Stagg Jr., i.e. it's a functional if brutal marriage between a citrusy aromatic distillate and a truckload of barrel char. Except, again, it's less than twenty-five bucks. And yet the kind of customers who really really want that kind of thing are _completely uninterested_ because I guess it doesn't have the antlers or the birdie or the horsey, and I cannot stop laughing. The very existence of this product, let alone its complete failure to get so much as a shrug from the tater population, makes it an argument that the simulation is starting to glitch. Yes it's an 83 in terms of quality but it's a 100/100 for entertainment value, and someone needs to make a devoted subreddit immediately.

Oh, and stick around for the invention of the ultimate budget high-proof bomb. Because Benchmark FP here isn't the only flammable option around $25...

Extra special thanks to my Different Spirits on Patreon ([ Ссылка ]) -

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