From Patrice O'Neal - Elephant in the Room


Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I’m thanking one in particular. Bad titties in the front row. Thank you so much. Thank you, audience coordinator, for putting those titties up in the front row. God bless you. Those are distracting me. I was s’posed to come out, “oh, hey, hello.” Henh. Meh. Meh, meh. Meh, yeah. Oh, y’all here? Yeh, huh, meh. You look lovely, though, by the way. Yes, you do. Yes, you do. Congratulations, my friend. I’m glad y’all here. It’s very good. Yo, congratulations to you, my friend. Look at that white woman you’re with. God damn! That n i g g a behind you going, “yeah, son, I’m wit’ my girl, but yo, for real?” That white woman’s amazing, isn’t she? Tell the truth! He’s wit’ his black girlfriend, like, “naw, I don’t– I don’t know.” But that, she’s high level. That’s a high level white woman right there. That white woman is– that is– man, oh, man, oh, man! Black woman get mad at that. But that is top shelf white woman right there. You know how you can tell how pretty a white woman is?

The value? You look at her, and then you wonder how long they would look for her if she was missing.


Come on, take a look. Take a look. Look at this n i g g a lookin’. Look, look, look, look! Oo-ooooo. I saw you look mad, sweetie. How long, if you was missin’, how long you think they would– how long you think– exac– she don’t even– she went– you know the deal. I ain’t saying nothin’ wrong. White woman’s life is valuable. What’s his name, Joran van der Sloot? Right? We found out he was a serial kill– man, he kills women. That’s what he do. He do it well, you know what I mean? We know the girl that he– that he, you know, supposedly had, uh– what’s the girl in Aruba? Natalee Holloway. Right? But the one– he just killed a girl in Peru. What’s her name? Um… Exactly.

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