FIX FOUND:
Okay so a bunch of people were commenting to throw it on the ground to make it work again.
That's literally it. I threw mine on my carpeted floor w/ little strength and pushed the battery back into place. Works like a charm. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE IF THIS BREAKS YOUR DEVICE FURTHER, THIS WAS A LAST RESORT FIX
Video context: My caliburn was doing this and I contacted uwell support and they said to send a video of my issue. I sent this exact video and they asked if I could just upload it to YouTube then send them the link.
