'So I Married an Axe Murderer' is a 1993 American comedy-horror film starring Mike Myers and Nancy Travis. Funny scene with Mike Myers and his Scottish father (Mike plays his own father here). Mike's father (Stuart Mackenzie) has a strong opinion that "if it's not Scottish it's crap." And Mike's little brother has a 'big head.'



Stuart Mackenzie: Thirty years ago today, May and I were married. Some of you were there, some of you weren't born, and some of you are now DEED! But, we both said "I do," and we haven't agreed on a single thing since.
May Mackenzie: That's true!
Stuart Mackenzie: But I'm glad I married you, May, because hey, could've been worse.

Stuart Mackenzie: "Alright, give your mother a kiss, or I'll kick your teeth in."
Stuart Mackenzie: Well, it's a well known fact, Sonny Jim, that there's a secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world, known as The Pentavirate, who run everything in the world, including the newspapers, and meet tri-annually at a secret country mansion in Colorado, known as The Meadows.
Tony Giardino: So who's in this Pentavirate?
Stuart Mackenzie: The Queen, The Vatican, The Gettys, The Rothschilds, *and* Colonel Sanders before he went tits up. Oh, I hated the Colonel with is wee *beady* eyes, and that smug look on his face. "Oh, you're gonna buy my chicken! Ohhhhh!"
Charlie Mackenzie: Dad, how can you hate "The Colonel"?
Stuart Mackenzie: Because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes ya crave it fortnightly, smartass!

Stuart Mackenzie: Alright, we have a piper who's down. It's alright, he's just pissed. We have a piper down, I repeat, a piper is down!

Stuart Mackenzie: [as Harriet is meeting Charlie's parents for the first time] Show her the picture of Charlie when he shit his pants at Niagara Falls!
Look at the size of that boy's heed.

I'm not kidding, it's like an orange on a toothpick.

Well, that's a huge noggin. That's a virtual planetoid.

Has it's own weather system.
HEAD! MOVE!
I'm not kidding, that boy's head is like Sputnik; spherical but quite pointy at parts! Now that was offside, wasn't it? He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow.





Cast:
Mike Myers as Charlie/Stuart MacKenzie
Nancy Travis as Harriet Michaels
Anthony LaPaglia as Tony Giardino
Amanda Plummer as Rose Michaels
Alan Arkin as Police Captain
Michael Richards as Insensitive Man
Brenda Fricker as May MacKenzie
Matt Doherty as William "Heed" MacKenzie
Charles Grodin as Commandeered Driver
Phil Hartman as John "Vickie" Johnson, Alcatraz Guide
Debi Mazar as Susan, Tony's Girlfriend
Steven Wright as Pilot

HEED move now - that boys head is like an orange on a toothpick - full scene

head


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Mike Myers as Charlie and Stuart MacKenzie
Nancy Travis as Harriet Michaels
Anthony LaPaglia as Tony Giardino
Amanda Plummer as Rose Michaels
Alan Arkin as Police Captain
Michael Richards as Insensitive Man
Brenda Fricker as May MacKenzie
Matt Doherty as William "Head" MacKenzie
Charles Grodin as Commandeered Driver
Phil Hartman as John "Vickie" Johnson, Alcatraz Guide
Debi Mazar as Susan, Tony's Girlfriend
Steven Wright as Pilot
Jessie Nelson as Ralph

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