Are you wondering how to stop an emotional affair in your marriage? Watch Paul gives you questions and tips on how you can determine the status of your marriage. With that, you can decide if this can be stopped or if it's too late for you to stop it.

I'm going to share things with you that maybe you hadn't thought about before. Frankly, most people do not see marriage the way I and those of us who now comprise The Marriage Foundation, how we see marriage is different. We also approach things differently. We don't
pander to anybody. We're non-profit foundation so we're not going to pander to you and I'm not going to pander to you.

I'm going to be very candid and truthful with you about what you're asking. You're asking about
an emotional affair so let's take a look at that and let's ask another question. If everything was going well in your marriage. If it was a good marriage not even a great marriage but a good marriage.

Where is the possibility for an emotional affair?
Where is the possibility for a sexual affair?
Where is the possibility for either of you to be looking around?

And the reason I ask that question is because in a healthy marriage and this is just the way it is. I know a lot of the experts don't agree with this but this is the truth. The truth is that a marriage that is firing on all four, six, or eight cylinders is producing a level of happiness that is incomparable that you cannot find anywhere else because it's based on unconditional love.
So unconditional love by its very nature, I'm changing the subject a little bit here. Unconditional love means that it's infinite. It can't be measured.

Love has no beginning and no end. It's a spiritual reality. It is the highest principle of life. When you achieve that feeling of unconditional love because it's something we get married so that we could learn how to have that. When we get on that path we realize it just gets better and better
every single day which means that you're happier and happier every single day. So the love is ever-expanding and the joy is ever-expanding -- that's a normal marriage. Not a normal marriage in our world because we live in a very material world and people don't know about the principles that I have found so they don't even have that expectation but you should have that expectation.

Let's go back, how would an emotional affair or any kind of affair take place if your life is already so filled up with love and joy? Who would ever want to look outside the marriage for any happiness? Because trust me, happiness is so far above any scale of happiness that's material so things make you happy. Usually getting a new something will make you happy. Eating a delicious meal will make you happy, watching a great movie.

All of these are material things and they scale up from -- call it, 1 to 10, 1 to 100 it doesn't matter but there is a limit. Not only that but once you've achieved that 10 or 100, it's all downhill from there but not with the happiness that comes from love. That just keeps increasing day by day,
every single day, every hour. It gets better and better. In other words, what I'm saying to you
is your marriage is off the right track. It's not functioning so you can't deal with this symptom
of one of you getting involved with someone else. Because that symptom as a symptom can't be
fixed by dealing with it. It would be like let's say you were growing a plant and you notice that
the flowers are not coming outright and the leaves are turning yellow.

You're not going to fix the yellow leaves. You're not going to fix the blooms. You got to look at what's going on with the plant. Is it the soil, lack of fertilizer, not enough water, too much water? Same thing with your marriage fixing the symptom is an exercise in futility -- it won't work. You got to take a look at the marriage as a marriage and you can't fix the marriage because it's a living thing so it keeps moving forward you have to start changing the dynamics of the marriage
today so that all the future marriage becomes better and better and better. And for that, you need an education obviously.

Usually, I say this and I've written a couple of books and they lay out what marriage is, Breaking the Cycle and Lessons for Happy Marriage and they're really good books if you're having some difficulty. But with full integrity, I have to tell you that if your marriage is at the point where there's already an affair of any kind then you need either the course for men or the course for women depending on which one you are because then I will bring you in this course step by step back to where you need to be where it's starting to fully function. So that's how you deal with it.

Watch the video for more.

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