Sure everybody wants the Open-class bike, the most power, the most expensive, the one with all the electronic stuff, just like everybody wants the trophy mate with the big cylinders. Then after you’ve lived with them for a few years, the maintenance, the narcissism, the psychic wear and tear of constantly stoking the beast’s ego and keeping up with the Joneses can get to be a drag.

There you are on yet another Tom Roderick-style Caribbean cruise, smoke pouring from the VISA card as you spring for more lobster and Moët et Chandon while trying hard to maintain that boyish witty veneer. When you finally break free to the ship’s rail to sneak a desperately needed Marlboro Light, you spot a gray old couple in a rented rowboat with a box of cheap chardonnay and a White Castle bag, laughing deliriously and apparently having a much better time than you are.

These three motorcycles are nothing like that at all, really, but it was a fun coping exercise for me. Sorry. Let’s get on with the road test.

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