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Lyrics:

I want it to be like messy

I’m so insecure I think
That I’ll die before I drink
And I’m so caught up in the news
Of who likes me and who hates you
And I’m so tired that I might
Quit my job, start a new life
And they’d all be so disappointed
‘Cause who am I if not exploited

And I’m so sick of 17
Where’s my fuckin’ teenage dream
If someone tells me one more time
Enjoy your youth I’m gonna cry
And I don’t stick up for myself
I’m anxious and nothing can help
And I wish I’d done this before
And I wish people liked me more

All I did was try my best
This the kinda thanks I get
Unrelentlessly upset
They say these are the golden years
But I wish I could disappear
Ego crush is so severe
God, it’s brutal out here

I feel like no one wants me
And I hate the way I’m perceived
I only have two real friends
And lately I’m a nervous wreck
‘Cause I love people I don’t like
And I hate every song I write
And I’m not cool and I’m not smart
And I can’t even parallel park

All I did was try my best
This the kinda thanks I get
Unrelentlessly upset
They say these are the golden years
But I wish I could disappear
Ego crush is so severe
God, it’s brutal out here

Got a broken ego, broken heart
And god I don’t even know where to start


Credits:

Production Company: Up The Game in Association with Geffen Records & Invisible Inc
(@upthegamecreative) (@geffenrecords), @inv.isibleinc)
Directed By: Kimberly Stuckwisch (@stuckwisch) & Toby L (@mrtobyl)
Produced By: Ian Blair (@ian_swank_nsour_blizair), Valerie Bush (@valerieeee101), Josh Connolly (@joshconnollyx)
Executive Produced By: Josh Connolly, Toby L, Kristen Smith (@kristenrondell), Michelle An (@littlemeeshmeesh), Christiana Divona (@christianadivona) Marissa Ramirez (@rissaramirez)
Development Producer: Michael Lewin (@michaelclewin)
Cinematography By: Justin Hamilton (@justinphamilton)
Production Design By: John Richoux (@johnrichouxdesign)
Choreography By: Monika Felice Smith (@monikafelicesmith)
Edited By: Ellis Bahl (@ellisbahl)
Music Directed By: Aron Forbes (@aronforbes) & Derek Renfroe (@derekrenfroe)
Music Mixed By: Aron Forbes
Sound Design By: Ben Tomastik (@close_bencounters)
VFX Supervisor: Andres Jaramillo (@andresjara2)
VFX Artist: Robert Schober
Color By: Dylan Hageman (@dylanmhageman)
Title Design By: Sean David Christensen (@seandavidchristensen)
Artist Hair: Clayton Hawkins (@claytonhawkins)
Artist Make-Up: Molly Greenwald (@mollygreenwald)
Artist Stylist: Chloe & Chenelle Delgadillo (@chloeandchenelle)
Costume Designer: Lisa Madonna (@lisamadonna)
Band: Livia Slingerland (@livslingerland), Camila Mora (@iamcamilamora), Hayley Brownell (@hayleybrownell), Arianna Powell (@guitarianna), Jess Kallen (@kessjallen)
Featuring: Steve Berman (@steveberman), Iris Apatow (@irisapatow), Conan Gray (@conangray), Madison Hu (@madisonhu), Lydia Night (@lydianight)
Choreographer Assistant: Jen Apter (@jenapter), Leah Lagrange (@leahalyse33)
Art Director: Nick DeCell (@isthismyfloor)
Set Designer: John Jalandoni
1st AD: Peter Maez
Production Manager: Sina Pars (@beingsinapars)
Production Coordinator: Chris Fish (@chrisrfish)
Director’s Assistant: Hayden Rusk (@haydenrusk)
Steadicam: Jose Espinoza (@noswayjose)
Gaffer: Ryan Oppedisano (@forever_heavy)
Key Grip: Jon Brooker (@jon_brooker)

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