7 Red flags in a relationship - Never ignore these!

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Knowing what red flags in a relationship you should see are important thing to know. After all, if you can spot the indications early, you can hopefully avoid the kinds of guys that will spell trouble later on.

In fact, one of the most important things you can do is to follow my simple 3-step process for spotting a troubled relationship:

SPOT THE RED FLAGS – STEP 1: KNOW ‘EM!

You gotta know what does and doesn’t work in a relationship so that you don’t get fooled when you’re in the throes of love. All those love hormones will blind your eyes to an unhealthy relationship if you’re not careful.

Keep these in the back of your head so that you can do the next step…

SPOT THE RED FLAGS – STEP 2: SEE ‘EM!

Even if you know them, sometimes it’s not easy to identify a red flag in a relationship. Mostly because of the love hormone blindness I mentioned.

Keep your eyes open and watch closely. Don’t get lazy.

There’s going to be a temptation to overlook a lot of faults in your partner in the early stages. It’s very tempting to dismiss some potentially bad signs when they come up.

And that leads us to…

SPOT THE RED FLAGS – STEP 3: DON’T GET FOOLED…!

You’ll want to talk yourself out of seeing anything bad in your partner.

“Oh, he’s just having a tough week at work,” you’ll tell yourself. “He didn’t really mean to be so nasty.”

The key here is to watch out for any behavior that repeats more than once, or looks like a pattern. If it only shows itself once, it could just be a bad day.

But if you see the same thing show up more often, you might have a red flag that you need to look at.

Now let’s get to the flags –

Watch out for these 7 Red Flags In A Relationship – Never Ignore Them!

RELATIONSHIP RED FLAG WARNING #1: Abusive Behavior…

Let’s start right up with the most obvious and the most important one.

When it comes to letting yourself be a verbal (or physical) target for abuse, you cannot accept it.

EVER!

And verbal abuse is one of those things that can be different for different people. Some people grew up in a home where verbal violence was the norm. You got used to occasional insults. Some of the time, it was good-natured play… but it still had an abusive edge to it.

You KNOW when your conversation isn’t healthy in your family because you feel those internal triggers go off and the old emotions start coming to the surface.

If you’ve ever found yourself avoiding a member of your family – or even a family gathering or event – because you knew it wasn’t going to be pleasant, chances are there was verbal abuse at work.

Sometimes it’s easy to pick out, and sometimes it’s not.

When it’s easy, it’s easy. And I’ll give you an example of a “not so easy” to recognize act of verbal violence:

“Oh, shut up!”

Even if this one is said with a smile and gentleness to it, I consider it to be violent communication. Mostly because it’s almost never without an emotional charge. It seems nice, until you start feeling like the person saying it is being somewhat passive aggressive.

My family has an off-limits rule on this one. We never say “shut up” – even jokingly.

Quite simply because it keeps a healthy boundary around our communication. It’s not an attempt to be a touchy-feely new age family, it’s simply one of those phrases that doesn’t have a place with us.

You should also consider what words and phrases you want as “out of bounds.”

Men need to know their boundaries – and YOU have to set them!

RELATIONSHIP RED FLAG #2: Need To Be Needed…

This one might make you think twice. After all, isn’t a relationship about feeling needed?

No. It’s about feeling ...

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Carlos Cavallo
Dating Advice Guru
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7 Red flags in a relationship
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