"I have lived most of my life assuming I was neurotypical. I had never really thought about it and any differences I encountered daily I chocked up to "me just being weird". A few years ago, I was having conversations with other friends who have autism and ADHD and they voiced shocked confusion when I said I wasn't any of those things. Fast forward to now when I've been able to reach out to my parents and discuss how most of our family has either autism or ADHD or both and that we were never able to identify these things because we all felt similar to each other.

I have still been having a hard time trying to grapple with these things, especially because many things I would struggle with in the past were reprimanded by other people, thereby making me have a harsh outlook on myself as a result. Being able to at least understand where a lot of these struggles come from helps me to give myself more grace.

Of the things I struggle with, verbal comprehension is enormous. In turn, being social with people and trying to stay engaged in a conversation that I'm not leading is very difficult. Pair that with masking around people I don't know and I just find myself acting out social standards as if it were a performance. I end up thinking way too much about to respond to anyone and it just comes across really weird. A lot of the time when people are verbally speaking to me, even if I can know the contour of their words, I have no idea what they're saying to me. It's white noise.

And as I've talked about in "By The Seaside", I just gate social spaces and gatherings, going back to when I was really young and trying hard to fit in like that. "Paintbucket" encapsulates pretty much all of this in the context of being on the spectrum."

—

Stream/Buy: [ Ссылка ]

—

Written by Vylet
Music by Vylet
Vocals by Vylet
Produced, mixed, and mastered by Vylet
Artwork by Larvaecandy

☁️ Larvaecandy ☁️
● [ Ссылка ]

—

Thanks to my Patrons who help me make my music sustainable! I live because of them.

$10+ Patrons:

6pony66
Adrian Radley
Alex
Ampyri
Anise
Argot AER
Aria Davis
Barrelwolf38087
Beeness
Bonk Six
CandyFlossDemon
Cerily
Chris Slade
Chuck
Cicatrices
Connor Glisson
Core
Crafty Circle Pony
Craky
Daniel Oaks
Deej
Dostluk V Harmony
Ecrylian
Ember Hearth
Glitter
HeartTheWolf
Hon1nbo
ItsDreamIess
JEssicargbvh
Jess
JimmyJam
Joshua Rocha
Khaluki
Lumi Rain
LunarRoze
Lupra
MJ Grattage
Mae
MareoftheStars
Matt Walker
Mattabee
Meniscus Penumbra
Metri Konor
Misty Hill
MoxieCristo
Null_Cat
Osi
Pegajace
PonBalloon
R
RayStarKitty
Rollo_Linwood
SeraZero
Siwius
Snowei
Taldork
The 64th Gamer
Trinity
Turtle
VallyGal
VmuMaple
Vozu The Fox
Willow Pillow
Zoey
Zoobob
artemis
doomy
jay hyperobject
lightningwing92
pbrooster
quantum
slayyyer💫
taco!

—

Song lyrics available here: [ Ссылка ]

Wordmark Logo by EmtaColor
[ Ссылка ]

Video Logo by AstroEden
[ Ссылка ]

свернуть