"I'm almost paralyzed to know what to do at that age—you know, no idea."
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Lamarkus sat in his car wondering why an inner voice kept telling him to go back into the dry cleaning store where he had just picked up his shirts, and ask the young clerk if “she is going through something.” Finally, he relented, and the clerk stared at him and said “yes.” And the inner voice told Lamarkus to tell her, “It’s going to be okay.” So he did. That openness, that willingness to listen to the inner voice, has served Lamarkus well. It has guided his recovery and healing from a childhood rife with sexual abuse.
Lamarkus grew up a “ward of court.” His mother was 14 when she gave birth to him. Lamarkus eventually learned that his mother had wanted to get an abortion, her second, but her foster mother had forced her to keep the pregnancy. And so Lamarkus was born, and then raised by the same foster mother who had raised his mother, and saved his life. Children came and went from the foster home, and many of them sexually abused Lamarkus. As did a police officer who befriended and groomed him.
The repeated abuse distorted his sexuality, undermined his sense of his own worth, and marred his capacity for intimacy. But Lamarkus struggled against those destructive forces. He excelled playing basketball, was a high school star, and received a scholarship to attend college. Basketball gave back to him some of what the abuse had stolen.
Intimacy remained a challenge, however. He spent years in and out of relationships that could never repair what had been damaged. Then he met Shawna. Their relationship clicked into place, and once again Lamarkus was open: to a different kind of relationship; to psychotherapy; and to a new path toward healing.
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1in6 is a national nonprofit organization supporting the estimated 1 in 6 men who have experienced sexual abuse or assault. At 1in6, we believe that the tens of millions of male survivors who have had such experiences deserve to live whole, meaningful lives, but we know that isn’t always easy. Entrenched myths about masculinity, the stigma and silence around the issue, and a lack of male-specific services are just some of the barriers men face to seeking help and addressing emotional wounds in a healthy way.
Men who feel unsafe to disclose and seek help may risk exposure to social dysfunction and mental and physical health issues, including but not limited to: depression, PTSD, suicidal ideation, addiction, isolation, fear of intimacy, confusion about sexuality, interpersonal violence, and feelings such as anger, guilt, shame, and distrust.
We help men overcome the negative effects of past experiences and reclaim their lives by offering information, outreach, and free and anonymous services for men and their loved ones, as well as service providers working with men.
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Sexually Abused by Older Foster Sister | Male Sexual Abuse
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male survivor storiesmale sexual assaultmale sexual abusemale sexual abuse storiesmale sexual assault storiesmale rapemale sexual abuse supportmale sexual assault supportmale survivor support grouptraumatherapycounselingresourcesinformationtraininghealingrecoverygaystraightbitranscrisisnational sexual assault hotline1in61 in 6 statisticsexual abuse and assault of boys and mensexual abuse foster systemsexual abuse by foster siblingsincest