[ Ссылка ] -- How To Be Independent In A Relationship

When we talk about relationships, we’re more often talking about dependence than we are about independence but the truth is, independence is vital for a functional relationship. Stick around and I’ll tell you why, and how you can foster independence in your own relationship going forward.

Hi, I’m Lucy Goldman from LoveLearnings. And as far as I’m concerned, independence is the number one predictor of success in a relationship. Let me explain. While a more enmeshed relationship can feel great, be super fulfilling and allow you to make quite a bit of progress right away, something happens as the relationship goes on.

You notice that your social life outside of the relationship has shrunk. You don’t have the strong support system and unconditional support you used to. But, you think, I have them, so what does it really matter?

This is all well and good, until something happens in your relationship. Whether you get stuck in a rut, or you hit a rough patch, you want outside help from friends or family, and that’s when you find that you’re not as connected to them as you once were. Now you have no one to turn to for support, and you start to feel trapped and stifled by your relationship.

It happens all the time. This is one of the most common problems in modern relationships. This is because the role of a significant other in the modern world, has grown far beyond the capacity of one person. They’re supposed to be the person who makes you happy, who takes care of you, and makes you feel loved. At the same time, they have to be your best friend, your confidante, and the person you spend most of your time with. On top of that, they’re now also supposed to inspire you to be the best version of yourself while still making you comfortable in any situation. See the problem? I think we’ve forgotten one important thing about our significant others and that is the word “other.”

A relationship isn’t about two people becoming one. It’s about two separate people, coming together to create something new.

You see, you’re not supposed to be completely enmeshed with another person so that you don’t know where they end and you begin. You can’t put all of your hopes and dreams into one other person and then be upset when they don’t live up to this impossible standard.

That’s why I always preach the importance of independence in relationships.

This doesn’t mean leading totally separate lives or accepting anything less than true intimacy and connection. It means having a full, rich life outside of your relationship that gives you happiness and support. You may feel that if you don’t spend all of your time together, you won’t get the connection you’re looking for but I’ve actually found the opposite to be true. By having other hobbies and interests outside of your relationship, it will give you things to talk about with your partner that may reveal more than you thought possible.

On top of this, by cultivating your independence, you’ll become more attractive and irresistible to your partner. Ever heard that absence makes the heart grow fonder?




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