Whatever anyone might say, I’ll always be like this.
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猛独 / Moudoku / Deathly loneliness is a play on 猛毒 / moudoku / deathly poison, where the kanji meaning “poison” (毒) has been replaced with the kanji for “single/alone” (独) it might more specifically be a play on 孤独 (kodoku) which straight up means “loneliness”
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I’ll probably be doing hihumi’s other suggested songs, I really like their music right now *_*
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適当に生きても息は続く
誰かに寄り掛かり生きている
支えが消えても息が続く
次の拠り所に身を寄せる
You’ll breathe on, even if you just live just doing whatever works
Living depending on someone else;
Even if your support disappears, you’ll continue to breathe
Becoming dependant on the the next thing
使い捨てじみた繋がりとか
その場限りの関係だとか
何かが違うと嘆いてみて
何も分からずにいるんだって
My throwaway connections,
And relationships that only exist at the right time and the right place **
Even if I try to lament, saying "something’s not quite right",
I remain understanding nothing {apparently}
*this was essentially just "relationships limited to that place" but I didn't feel it expressed exactly what was going on so I expanded on it a little
誰が何と言ったって
僕はずっとこんなんで
切れた縁の端に
目を伏せたの
Whatever anyone might say
I’ll always be like this
I cast down my eyes
Beside all of my severed bonds
寂しがって泣いたって
誰も知らないんだって
また 猛独が襲う
{Apparently} even if I’m so lonely I cry
No one gives a damn
And yet again, deathly loneliness attacks
誰かの気持ちを無碍にしては
誰かに縋りながら生きている
その度とぐろを巻く罰がさ
胸を締め付けて牙を立てる
For every person whose feelings I treat with disdain
I live relying on an another.
*The punishment for curling up all those times
Tightens around my chest and digs in its fangs
*I think this is a metaphor about snakes (that is, curling/coiling up then constricting and biting)
気が付かぬ間に「独」が回る
心だけ気づいて寂しがる
痺れるような苦しみの中で
「一人」の無力に沈んだんだ
Before I even realised “loneliness” began to turn,
My heart alone notices and yearns for another
Amidst the pin and needle-like pain,
I sunk in the powerlessness of “being alone”
*独 = kanji that means ‘single/alone’ and is used in one of the words for loneliness.
寂しがる = ‘to feel lonely’ are obviously different words in japanese but the same in english... so I used “yearns for another” to differentiate between the two and better elaborate on the paticular “missing something” meaning 寂しがる has.
誰に何と言ったって
もう戻れないんだって
「面倒だ」なんて
手放したことさえ
{apparently} whatever I say to someone
There’s no turning back.
Even from the things I relinquished
With a “what a pain”
たとえ何度泣いたって
届きはしないんだって
心にヒビが走る
{Apparently} however many times I cry
It’s not going to reach (anyone)
Cracks run their way through my heart.
壊れぬように
壊さぬように
未熟な手で守ってたのにね
So it wouldn’t break
So I wouldn’t break it
Even though with my inexperienced hands, I so tried to protect it
些細な感情で
力んじゃったりして
握りつぶしていたんだろう
I ended up straining myself and crushing {it}
over the most trivial of emotions, didn’t I...
膝を抱いて泣いたって
変わりはしないんだって
静かな部屋に響く
嗚咽さえも
{Apparently}, even if I hug my knees and cry
There will be no change.
not even to my sobs
That echo in this quiet room
夜が飲み込んだって
月が照らしたって
消えない 消えない
消えない 事実だけ見て
Even if the night swallows it
Even if the moon shines down upon it
It won’t disappear, it doesn’t disappear
only looking at the truth, that won’t disappear
癒えない 言えない
隠していた声を 僕を
It won’t heal, I can’t say it
Against the voice I hid, against me
猛独が襲う
deathly loneliness attacks
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○ Music & Lyrics : Hihumi (一二三)
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○ Illustration : Kyufu (休符)
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○ Support Guitar : Jumi (じゅみ)
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+Translation : Forgetfulsubs
*I have permission from Hihumi to sub their songs. For covers they distribute off vocal files here [ Ссылка ] with licences that specify it can only be non-profit usage and you must credit them!
Corrections and input welcome! All rights and credit for the original video belong to the original artist(s). This video and translation were created for nonprofit purposes only, intended as a derivative work to expand on and widen the audience of the original. Please give your support to the original artist(s) and check the original uploads above!
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