All I can say is that this song was written by someone who hasn't had Christmas pudding for a whole year.
Yes, for an Englishman living in Paris, things can get tough. All that exotic food can go to your head, make you hallucinate. This is the hallucination.
So please don't take it seriously.
Here's wishing you a Happy Christmas, or holidays, or solstice, or however you choose to celebrate the end of this year and the beginning of the next. Let's hope your 2015 will be a pleasant place to live.

(Disclaimer: I am a vegetarian and don't eat turkey or chipolatas. But I stand by everything I say about Brussels sprouts. For full lyrics, see below.)

Credits:
The words and music were written and "performed" by moi, Stephen Clarke. I'm at: www.stephenclarkewriter.com or @sclarkewriter
Thanks to Clélia Nguyen for agreeing to do a very last-minute – and excellent – animation job, especially for an obsessive who says things like "the Brussels sprouts should be bigger". Clélia's at: [ Ссылка ]

The lyrics:
I always spend Christmas at my local pub
Have a few pints and some traditional grub
But this year when I went in expecting mince pies
The landlord gave me a nasty surprise.
He said, we ain't doing spuds, and gravy's out
Pudding and custard are right up the spout
You can't have Christmas cake while listening to the Queen
Cos we don't do food no more, we only do cuisine

All I want for Christmas is some English food
A nice bit of stuffing gets me in the mood
I want less crème brûlée and more plum duff
I can't eat none of this foreign stuff
All I want for Christmas is some English food

He said we won't be having turkey, we'll be having duck
If you're looking for parsnips, you're right out of luck
I said surely you'll be doing some chipolatas?
He said why don't you try our rocket ciabatta?

Silent night, holy night
Frogs' legs are such a horrible sight
When Good King Wenceslas looked out
I bet he hoped to see a field of Brussels sprouts

I want beer served by a barmaid in a Santa hat
Not wine from a waiter in a silk cravat
You can stuff your foie gras right up your Chateau Lafitte
The best Christmas food is Quality Street.


All content (c) Stephen Clarke 2014.

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