i now understand the person to medication analogy. i had a medication. or, a drug maybe. once he left, i felt like i was going to die of withdrawal. i still feel like i'm going to die. i feel, helpless and empty. i feel, dizzy and lightheaded. i feel, starved and beaten. this is the worst feeling i will ever feel in my entire lifetime. i may be young, stupid, and worthless, but i think i understand love now. and i'm not sure if i want to understand it. love is beautiful. it grows like lilacs and lavenders in fields of relief. it's simple and easy. it's untouchable and breathless. it's constant and slow burning. but once you're in too deep, it's painful. it's exhausting. it's draining. but this isn't just love, it's heartbreak. the one thing i always feared as a young girl. i never wanted to live in heartbreak, but lived in houses of it my entire life. -grae.
