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I've fallen down the "feeling behind in life"/ "lost in life" / "starting over in your 20s or 30s" rabbit hole and I don't like what I see: an increasing number of millennials and gen z feeling like they work as hard as they can and have nothing to show for it.
In this video, I look at some narrative tropes we grew up with (and when I say we I mean mainly women and afab people), in particular at the "smart girl" Rory Gilmore type and the "plucky career woman". If you're anything like me, these stereotypes might have led you to believe that life is one ongoing academic/career ladder that you can endlessly climb until you magically reach a point of happiness and purpose. You might have learned from girls like Rory Gilmore or Andy Sachs in the Devil Wears Prada or Alex Dunphy in Modern Family, that there's a pre-established order of events that your life should unfold around... only to find out that reality is a little more complicated than that.

timestamps:
00:00 - introduction: my life is not exactly what I thought it would be
00:53 - milestone anxiety explained
02:48 - the bit where I overshare
05:39 - why I'm blaming Rory Gilmore for all my problems
06:39 - career girls and their girlboss ways
08:12 - the hero's journey and life as a series of achievements
10:07 - milestone anxiety is present across demographics, I'm just talking about women cause they're my favourite
12:36 - the pressure to have it all figures out before "settling down"
13:24 - how we romanticise our 20s
15:11 - girlbossing? in this economy?

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resources

articles and research about feeling behind in life and milestone anxiety
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articles about the smart girl trope (and that one The Take video)
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article about neuroplasticity
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Not Even Emily video about expectations vs. reality of our 20s
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series and movies mentioned:
Gilmore Girls
Modern Family
The Devil Wears Prada
Morning Glory
The Ugly Truth
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Lmk in the comments if I forgot anything!

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