The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything, by Michael Nawrocki / Kurt Heinecke (for VeggieTales), 1997;
cover by Reliant K, 2002; performed/taught here on ukulele by Marco D with Rob, KC and Bob K.

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INTRO:
Ar - ar - ar - ar!

CHORUS:
We are the pirates
who don’t do anything
We just stay home
and lie around
And if you ask us
to do anything
We’ll just tell you
we don’t do anything!

VERSE 1:
Well I’ve never been to Greenland
and I’ve never been to Denver
And I’ve never buried treasure
in St. Louie or St. Paul

And I’ve never been to Moscow
and I’ve never been to Tampa
And I’ve never been to Boston in the fall

[REPEAT CHORUS]

VERSE 2:
And I never hoist a mainstay
and I’ve never swabbed a poopdeck
And I never veer to starboard
cuz I never sail at all

And I’ve never walked a gangplank
and I’ve never owned a parrot
And I’ve never been to Boston in the fall

[REPEAT CHORUS]

VERSE 3:
Well I’ve never plucked a rooster
and I’m not too good at pingpong
And I’ve never thrown my mashed potatoes
up against the wall

And I’ve never kissed a chipmunk
and I’ve never gotten head lice
And I’ve never been to Boston in the fall

BRIDGE: [spoken]
Huh? What are you talkin about? What’s a rooster and mashed potatoes have to do with bein a pirate?

Hey, that’s right! We’re supposed to sing about piratey things!

Oh!

And who’s ever kissed a chipmunk? That’s just nonsense! Why even bring it up?

VERSE 4:
And I’ve never licked a sparkplug
and I’ve never sniffed a stinkbug
And I’ve never painted daisies
on a big red rubber ball

And I’ve never bathed in yogurt
and I don’t look good in leggings
And I’ve never been to Boston in the fall

[REPEAT CHORUS]

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