We present arthur lowe, john, the measurer and clive dunn in dad's armor, the deadly attachment featuring john larry, arnold ridley and ian lavender.

With this week's guests, frank williams, philip malik, larry, martin and fraser carr. Here is the news, and this is jon snag reading it. The war in europe continues Unabated, as hitler persists in his attempts to become its supreme master.

As far as britain is concerned, adult's latest threat of invasion is by parachute troops in his headquarters at warmington on sea. Captain mannering, the ceo of the local homeguard unit, is talking to his men about this very subject now pay attention. Today I received a new directive from jhq regarding nazi parachutists.

They have come up with some useful advice which we should all carefully note make sure you're not under him when he hits the ground that'll do war. It's very important. Now ghq says that there is a danger that home guard units might confuse british pilots who have had to bail out with actual german parachute troops.

So to avoid confusion. A good point to Remember is the fact that no british plane contains more than six men, especially after they've jumped out, especially after walker. Where was that, oh yeah, if a nazi parachute is just floating down with his hands up, would you think this was strange? Not off as strange as if he was floating up with his hands down, I won't warn you again Now.

If the parachute has his hands up, this does not necessarily mean that he's surrendering he could have a grenade concealed in each hand, so watch it. Hi pop into the office answer the phone. Yes, mr mandarin, by the way wilson, while we're on the subject of grenades, have you primed our stock of mills bombs? Well, no, sir! You see, I told you to do it yesterday.

What good are the unprimed nobody's awfully dangerous? Sir war is awfully dangerous wilson. I want those bombs ready, for instance, use sea twitch tonight, sir. You want it on.

The phone is ghq very important. Thank you bank takeover very good, sir captain mannering here, oh mannering, uh, colonel winter's here, ghq and listen. I've got a very important job for you to do.

Oh excellent, sir, what is it? I've just had a message from the police. A fishing boat has picked up the captain of a u-boat and seven members of his crew they're down at the harbour now locked in the hole. I do this.

This is good new, sir. Well, I want you to go and collect them and take them back to your place. Oh well, i'm not really sure whether my wife elizabeth would like that.

No, no, no, no, I don't think you're home Battering. I mean where you are now. Your hq i'll send an armed escort over to collect them from you as soon as possible.

Oh very good, sir. We'll take good care of them in the meantime. Oh, they won't give you much trouble.

They've been drifting about for two days and a rubber dinghy. Anyway. Good luck.

Thank you, sir goodbye sir. I do face to face with the enemy at last Pay attention to the man now that that call was to say that a fishing boat has picked up a u-boat crew and we've been detailed to go down to the harbour and collect them. Mr man, this is very exciting.

I can't wait to get out of here. I'll just fix my bananas put that banner away jones plenty of time for that when we get there. Oh, I can't help it.

When I get even a whiff of action I reach for my abandoned is second nature. I tell you it's technology, it's all right, all right! Just pull the men in outside. Yes, sir, yes, you're right, look alive, they're falling outside wilson pike.

You two stay here. Well, the rest of us go down to the hall, but I want you to prime all grenades. If you insist, sir, I do I watch more.

I want it done by the time We get back with those jellies. That's not fair uncle after I wanted to go down to the harbour and help collect the germans. I'm sorry, you frank you, you can't say just stop moaning.

Would you just come into the vicar's office and we'll make a start on the grenades? Oh all right. I'm glad okay, you guys this is a showdown share. This pineapple amongst you safe, be careful what you're doing with That grenade the chicago gangsters used to call these pineapples and colossal.

I saw it in that film scarface with paul moonies. I I don't care, I don't get. What the chicago guest is calling just be careful that they're very dangerous.

Oh, these are quite safe, they haven't been primed, yet you know I i really don't like handling these detonators. I mean they're so risky. There only two left in this box wait a Minute.

Wait a minute, wait, a minute! There's another box here yeah, but that label says dummy primers for trading purposes. Only we don't want dummies, they're, no good, hey, look, look hey, there's another box of real ones! At the back, wait a minute wait, a minute frank, wait now!

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