Do you feel like you are the only one who is experiencing troubles with intimacy? The movies and shows on TV make it seem like a wife is so eager to make love with her husband. Your friends may talk about how much their wives want to make love. But, you can’t seem to relate...your wife does not want to have sex with you.

You may ask yourself: “Does she care?” “Does she know that I have needs?” “Am I not good enough?”

If you’re asking these questions, or feel frustrated by the lack of love-making in your marriage, you aren’t alone. We would like to share with you some specific research about this, but want to preface this- we are not saying that it’s your fault that your wife doesn’t want to have sex with you. That’s NOT our intent. Rather, when we share what we found, be honest with yourself in evaluating whether these apply. (And If they do, don’t panic!)

We’ll also share with you how you can turn things around so that you and your wife can enjoy lovemaking in amazing ways.

And remember, there is a correlation between sexual and marital satisfaction. If the love-making in your marriage is going well, it is likely that your marriage is going well (and vice versa).

First, we will discuss the research on sexual attraction. In an online survey, when asked if anything significantly reduces sexual attraction to their husband, the number one cause was relationship problems. The second cause was an unhappiness with the husband’s sexual techniques (also feeling pressured to make love.) The third cause was their husband’s lack of hygiene.


Next, we will discuss research on specific factors that negatively affected a wife’s sex drive. The number one reason was the husband’s sexual techniques. The second reason was relationship problems. The third reason was a husband’s sexual functioning or problems with participating in the sexual encounter (also that their husband wouldn’t get help for this problem).

If any of the reasons mentioned from our research apply to your situation, don’t fret. There are ways you can improve and increase your wife’s desire to be with you sexually. There are ways you can increase her enjoyment while also increasing your enjoyment. And, there are ways to increase your own desire to be with your wife sexually. It will take work, but it’s doable. And, it can be fun.

If your relationship is what needs help the most, please visit www.marriagehelper.com for resources that can grow, fix, save, and enhance your relationship.

If the sex itself is the main issue, Dr. Joe Beam has developed an online, educational course for the two of you to do together. It includes videos and assessments all geared toward igniting the passion in your marriage. Visit www.sparkyourmarriage.com to learn more.


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