United Airlines Hires Hollywood Actress to Keep Flyers In Line. #UnitedJoan
United Airlines has hired Hollywood actress and icon Joan Crawford to be their new Brand Flight Ambassador. United has been getting a bad rap for the treatment of Dr. David Dao and having to re-accommodate him off his scheduled flight. They feel that Joan Crawford’s direct and no-nonsense approach would benefit the company, and guarantee that incidents like this will not happen again.
“I firmly support United Airlines and am thrilled to be working with them,” Miss Crawford said. “I love their service as well as their in-flight house vodka.”
With reference to her new duties as Brand Flight Ambassador, Miss Crawford proudly stated, “I don’t take sh*t from my children and I won’t take it from unruly and ungrateful passengers.”
A firm believer in discipline mixed with love, Miss Crawford stated that overbooked passengers will be personally asked by her to leave their seat, “in the most polite and gracious manner.” But if they refuse to move, she will use force. She has suggested to United to have an ample supply of wire hangers and axes to be available for her use.
United Airlines stated that Miss Crawford will hold this position “for the foreseeable future.”
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