Apologies for aggressive editing cuts, it's due to the source material
excerpts from BorderlinerNotes @BorderlinerNotes
Aggression: Is It Yours or Mine? [ Ссылка ]
The Paranoid-Schizoid Right vs The Depressive Left [ Ссылка ]
Explaining Object Relations Theory, Melanie Klein's developmental model: [ Ссылка ]
transcript:
the paranoid schizoid position
schizoid by the way means split
the mind is split into two segments that don't connect
aggressive feelings totally detached from loving feelings
the paranoid comes from the fact that people who are not at ease with their own aggressive feelings don't see those feelings as in themselves but sees them existing in people around them
so the other is aggressive i'm not
that's where it gets dangerous
if you see others as aggressive and you're threatened by them
what are you justified in doing attacking so a lot of aggression in the world is carried out by people who do not see it in themselves and can be vicious in the expression of their aggression
all the while thinking they're totally innocent of any aggression
i had a borderline patient once who said her husband was the most horrible person in the world
one day i got a call from the husband he left a message
what do i do doc i forgot my wife's birthday and she threw the television across the room with me
so she comes the next session and i said i got a call from your husband
and she said yeah what a horrible person he forgot my birthday
so i said well i understand you threw the television at him
what else could i do he hurt me
so this is the paranoid schizoid position
even if you act in a hostile way
the badness is outside
then when this patient began to be aware that she could be aggressive too
it's a sad realization
but it's an important step in maturity because that's the reality of who we are and what the world is
part of the paranoid schizoid position is the belief that you can find somebody in the world who is perfect
who will just give you everything you want
provide for all your needs
that's what we call the ideal object or the ideal other
it's a nice thing to believe in
but the world doesn't offer that
so if you advance from the paranoid schizoid position to the depressive one
in addition to acknowledging your own aggression
you realize that the world isn't going to give you the ideal provider the ideal leader
the person who will solve all your problems
