Our resident metaphysical oracle, Future Joel, soul-bonds with “Midnight” Mike Hussa to demonstrate the infinite groove of the Roland GR-700 Guitar Synthesizer. Now, this is no toy. This is a previously unidentified funk object. This UFO came to us through a beam of laser light from the future-past to share the mathematical secrets that bind the very fabric of space-time, like how eight times eight equals infinity, and the wisdom of fast neck plus contoured body equals who f****** cares. So fire all your friends, because time is a flat circle. That’s just the way it is and things will never be the same. Also, we’re pretty sure Joel did not read any books by Carl Sagan.

The Roland GR-700 guitar synthesizer introduced by Roland in 1984. In response to complaints about the timbral limitations of the previous model, the GR-300, Roland turned away from the GR-300's phase-locked oscillators and went back to using a pitch to voltage converter to generate a pitch control voltage and gate signal for each string, in the manner of the earlier GR-500 model.

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