[Warning: these original lyrics contain the N-word.]

"Let the Punishment fit the Crime"

Lyrics:

A more humane Mikado never
Did in Japan exist
To nobody second
I’m certainly reckoned
A true philanthropist
It is my very humane endeavour
To make, to some extent
Each evil liver
A running river
Of harmless merriment

My object all sublime
I shall achieve in time
To let the punishment fit the crime
The punishment fit the crime
And make each prisoner pent
Unwillingly represent
A source of innocent merriment
Of innocent merriment

All prosy dull society sinners
Who chatter and bleat and bore
Are sent to hear sermons
From mystical Germans
Who preach from ten till four
The amateur tenor, whose vocal villainies
All desire to shirk
Shall, during off-hours
Exhibit his powers
To Madame Tussaud’s waxwork

The lady who dyes a chemical yellow
Or stains her grey hair puce
Or pinches her figger
Is black’d like a nigger
With permanent walnut juice
The idiot who, in railway carriages
Scribbles on window-panes
We only suffer
To ride on a buffer
In Parliament'ry trains

My object all sublime
I shall achieve in time
To let the punishment fit the crime
The punishment fit the crime
And make each prisoner pent
Unwillingly represent
A source of innocent merriment
Of innocent merriment

Chorus.
His object all sublime
He will achieve in time
To let the punishment fit the crime
The punishment fit the crime
And make each pris'ner pent
Unwillingly represent
A source of innocent merriment
Of innocent merriment

Mikado.
The advertising quack who wearies
With tales of countless cures
His teeth, I’ve enacted
Shall all be extracted
By terrified amateurs
The music hall singer attends a series
Of masses and fugues and “ops”
By Bach, interwoven
With Spohr and Beethoven
At classical Monday Pops

The billiard sharp whom anyone catches
His doom’s extremely hard
He’s made to dwell
In a dungeon cell
On a spot that’s always barred
And there he plays extravagant matches
In fitless finger-stalls
On a cloth untrue
With a twisted cue
And elliptical billiard balls

My object all sublime
I shall achieve in time
To let the punishment fit the crime
The punishment fit the crime
And make each pris'ner pent
Unwillingly represent
A source of innocent merriment
Of innocent merriment

Chorus.
His object all sublime
He will achieve in time
To let the punishment fit the crime
The punishment fit the crime
And make each pris'ner pent
Unwillingly represent
A source of innocent merriment
Of innocent merriment

----------------------------------------------

words by W. S. Gilbert
music by Sir Arthur Sullivan
arrangement by George Lowell Tracy
published by Wm. A. Pond

find this sheet music here:
[ Ссылка ]
midi sequence found at:
[ Ссылка ]

vocal by Fred Feild
piano according to the sheet music

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