season 7 episode 12 Surrender
There's a reason I didn't come to see you, Chase.
I thought about coming. But I didn't.
And I didn't because I was afraid. Because I didn't want to admit-
When I got stabbed last year at work, a friend of mine got killed. And I...
...ended up addicted to painkillers. And it caught up to me.
And I started to shoot morphine...
...and Demerol and fentanyl and whatever else I could get my hands on.
I don't know what would have happened had I not got busted. I went to rehab.
But I wasn't like any of those people. I got into this because of an injury...
...because of a near-death experience. And they...
Anyway, it wasn't me. I mean, it was me, but it wasn't... Anyway.
I did the program.
I pretended that I bought into it.\NI did everything I was supposed to do...
...except...
...believe that I had anything to do with what had happened. And then...
...I almost relapsed.
Or I guess I- I guess I did relapse. Anyway.
I didn't come to see you because I didn't want to admit to the fact...
...that I was just like you.
In fact, the truth is...
...there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about getting high.
It's the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning.
And it's the last thing I think about when I go to bed at night.
And I think about it all day.
I'm a drug addict.
