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As we all sat waiting for the big show to begin
We saw shots of the crowd and heard two songs playin'
Then there was a bunch of live stream trouble
It was cutting in and out
We saw some bars and tone from the TV truck
And all of Twitter began to shout

But then on comes Phil Schiller
Almost lost my paitence
Bigger iPhones, so much bigger
But there's a Chinese translation
In the background
IN THE BACKGROUND

Anyway

These phones are packed with pixels
So many pixels
Over a million pixels
This guy's got a really warm neck
You can use this phone one handed
Something called Focus Pixels
And you can make calls over wifi
Phil says we all need to run more stairs
And he's an expert in butterflies

Everyone knows that it's so hard
To remove your credit cards
From your wallet, it really hurts
Eddie Cues got you covered with his pink shirt

With the secure element
The secure element

And then we heard the three words
The wondrous magically words
It was weird to hear them from Tim Cook's mouth

All my higher brain functions are dropping away
Images flash and Jony Ive narrates
I am pavlov's dog coming on command
Tim Cook raises up his hands

It's the Apple watch and I can't help my self
I want one so bad I'm about to pass out
What's the interface, how you get around
Oh yeah simple it's a digital crown

It's the digital crown

Linear Acuator
Taptic Engine
Horological experts
Track the solar system
is Kevin Lynch gonna sing
Love Shack or wild thing?
We all glampsed Jeff
And his heartbeat

Penises
Everyone will Draw
Penises
On the Apple Watch

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