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I don't want to be awake again
I spend my days with my head in my hands
If I go outside I'll fall apart
I am mostly scared by passing time
The world it seems gets more unkind
Inevitable tragedies will soon be mine

I am looking for an easy place
To mask my thoughts behind my face
Oh brown baked column of victory
Maybe I should just pack up and run away again
Let you forget that you where once my friend
Then watch another go on and do better without me

But I could not go away, not if I wanted to
I can hide from friends but I cannot hide from you
These chemical reactions are dividing me
Self-deprecating thoughts interrupting all the time
Emphasizing all the traits that I wish weren't mine
They speak louder than everybody
Try to keep my eyes closed as my outlook isn't bright
Compulsively complaining when I haven't got the right
I hate the ways that I think and act
I want to end reality but I feel hesitant
Optimistic that the future will be more concerned than the present
And so for today I'll remain intact

I don't want to be awake again
I spend my days with my head in my hands
If I go outside I'll fall apart

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