Wives leave their husbands for only a few reasons. In this video, Paul bluntly explains why she left, and what possibilities there are for recovery, and what you should do. Regardless of why the wife left, it's a difficult situation to deal with.

We get messages from people asking our counselors what they should do and it's a free service. This topic comes up fairly often where a husband will write in. My wife has left me three weeks ago two months ago even four months ago and the gentleman who writes in want to know what they should do, what they can do. There's oftentimes, "I miss her." Things like that so I'm going to share with you basically, the reasons why women leave their husbands and then we're going to talk a little bit about what you could do. There's a number one reason.

The number one reason is that the wife loses confidence in her husband because her husband who she basically married for his protection, it's a biologically driven thing that starts using his power that should be used to protect her. He starts using it against her and it could be very subtle. It could just be a stern look, a strong voice in some rare cases, men physically abused their wife and the outer action is not as important.

You might say as the fact that he is using this power that he has for its opposite purpose and this hits a woman at a very very deep level and she may not even go "Look, he should be protecting me with his strength and instead he's using it against me." Some men think it's fine and it isn't. They use a strong voice, they may yell at their wife, they may be called the wife stupid, they may mock her, tease her whatever and you can't go by how she has responded to that because women communicate from a very closed place, generally speaking. That's the number one reason.

The second big reason and this is sort of a no-brainer, but husbands start finding other things to do rather than be with their wife. They hang out with their friends and we hear all the time, "Oh well, I've always hang out with my friends." Now, you're married and hanging out with your friends needs to be reduced quite a bit.

You've committed to being with your family. Your wife first and your children second and so here what happens is wives get all in when they get married and husbands say they're all in but they don't behave that way. The wife feels lonely, she doesn't feel like she's honored, respected, cared for and so she starts looking for an exit strategy.

The third thing is some women get married to the man they're married to has a last resort. This is in a way the guy who will have her because her biological clock is ticking or because she's fearful or because she sees her friends getting married but that one is easy to overcome if as a husband you're doing what you're supposed to be doing as a husband. You might say those are the three big things. The reasons that you hear lack of intimacy, lack of communication lack of paying attention all of these are symptoms of what I just described now.

The question is, what can you do about it?

Generally speaking, once a wife has left she's gone. I'm just being candid, it's a very difficult thing I know to hear but it's statistics that I'm relaying to you and I want to tell you that I have tried everything I could to get women to try again after they've left including speaking with them. When a man will come to me, "My wife has left." I have not been successful so you might go well then, why are you doing this video?

Here's why. I'm doing this video because 80% of you have children still being raised age and they are still going to model themselves off of you or off of your wife or the interactions that you have with them. It is still really super important that even though your wife has left whether she comes back or not because I still say "keep trying" you really ought to think about your children and think about adjusting not just your behaviors because behaviors are a manifestation but your perspective.

You need to change your perspective about women, about wives in particular, about men. about marriage, all of these things need to change.

How do you do it?

You could read one of my books but it's not strong enough, to be honest with you and if there's any hope of saving your marriage then it certainly won't work. You will need the men's course and it's worth it. It's worth it because you may be young enough and you may be saying, "I like being married. I want to get married again." You clearly don't know how so this is what you need to do and I know this may sound kind of heartless.

Watch the video for more.

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