~ Shoutouts to this game being creepier than my uncle's basement and even less enjoyable ~
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📜 ~ Text review below ~ 📜
"Normally when I want to witness grotesque Lovecraftian abominations, I just swipe through my Tinder matches. But when that fails, I reach for the top-down hardcore roguelike that is Lovecraft's Untold Stories. Upon booting up this atrocity of monstrosity, you’re greeted with not only more gamma than an X-Ray machine, but a character bio longer than some religious scriptures. But look past this pomposity of verbosity and you'll enjoy a challenging ferocity of grandiosity, and while it’s not nearly as difficult as beating a Souls game with your trustiest pair of Donkey Konga drums, it’s still harder than convincing your drunk aunt that her Multi-Level Marketing scheme is more toxic and manipulative than a gas station hot dog. And like said hot dog, the experience is satisfying at first, but quickly turns sour, especially when you ask the clerk how fresh they are and he replies with an inquisitive 'we sell hotdogs here?' Nonetheless, Lovecraft's Untold Stories is undoubtedly still a craft of love, and I give it a four out of five."

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