The Internet stars battle it out for theoretical dollars.
"Canada on Strike" S12
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#SouthPark #SouthParkS12
INT. WAITING AREA - DAY
The shitty MUZAK is playing while the four boys wait patiently in the waiting room, surrounded by the other internet stars.
Kyle comes in to the boys.
KYLE
We have to speed this up. Can we collect our internet money in front of you please?
TAY ZONDAY
I don't think so! Nothing takes priority over Chocolate Rain!
STAR WARS KID
Oh here he goes with the ego again! Who crowned YOU the top internet Star?
TAY ZONDAY
I did, when I became bigger than ALL you bitches!
TRON GUY
Oh please! Laughing Baby had four times as many views as YOU!
He points and we WHIP PAN over to the giggling baby-
LAUGHING BABY
(laughs)
TAY ZONDAY
You better shuck your fucking mouth, laughing baby!
AFRO NINJA
Did you all forget about afro Ninja?! My internet thing was bigger than ANYBODY's - I made over a hundred million theoretical dollars!
STAR WARS KID
Sneezing panda is theoretically worth BILLIONS!
Tay pulls out a glock.
TAY ZONDAY
YOU ALL WANT TO MOTHER FUCKING DIE?
Leave Britney Alone Kid tries grabs at the gun in Tay's hand.
LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE KID
NNOOOOOOO!!
The Tron Guy hits Numa Numa with his disk.
TRON GUY
ARGH!
NUMA NUMA
AGGH!
WIDE SHOT - The four boys standing in the middle and looking around as all the internet characters fight all around them.
SHOT - Afro Ninja and Star Wars kid fighting each other. They exchange blows, then Afro Ninja does his flip onto his face and drunkenly keeps swirling his nunchucks.
INSERT - Laughing Baby amidst the chaos.
Kyle comes running in.
KYLE
HEY FORGET IT! WE'LL WAIT OUR TURN!
SHOT - Numa Numa fighting with Tron guy-
TRON GUY
Hargh! Eyaaaaa!
-Numa Numa kicks Tron guy in the balls, then punches his face-
NUMA NUMA
My-a-hi my-a-hu my-a-ha-
Britney kid jumps in front of Tron Guy, protecting him.
LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE KID
LEAVE TRON GUY ALONE! LEAVE HIM ALONE!
INSERT - Laughing Baby amidst the chaos.
SHOT - Tay has Britney kid by the hair and is dragging her around in circles.
LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE KID
AGHGHGHGH!
TAY ZONDAY
GET READY FOR SOME CHOCOLATE PAIN, BITCH!
Tay puts the glock to the kid's head but
WIDE SHOT - The boys standing in the middle as everyone fights all around them.
SHOT - Momma Panda Mauls Numa Numa, tearing off his arm.
NUMA NUMA
AHGHGHGGHGH!!!
SHOT - Tron Guy Shows his disc, then throws it-
TRON GUY
YAH!
The disk hits momma Panda - who ROARS - Then Britney kid jumps in front of her-
LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE KID
LEAVE THE PANDA ALONE! LEAVE HER ALONE! I'M SERIOUS!
Momma Panda swipes at the Britney Kid- Tearing off part of his face-
LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE KID
AHGHGHGHGHH!!
Panda Knocks him down as she rushes the Tron Guy.
Tay Zonday picks his gun off the ground and shoots Star Wars kid as he charges Tay with his moves- BLAM BLAM!
STAR WARS KID
UGHGHGH!
Panda Mauls the Tron guy, Biting into his throat-
TRON GUY
AHGHGHGHGHGHGH!!!
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!! Tay shoots the Panda with his glock and the Panda cries out-
PANDA
(cries out in pain)
-And then collapses.
SHOT - The gopher is in the foreground - Tay Steps in behind it and points his gun-
TAY ZONDAY
(cocking gun)
Thought I forgot about YOU, GOPHER?
REVERSE - That's when staring Gopher turns around to the SAME MUSIC as his viral video. He stares at Tay.
REVERSE to Tay - He starts to shake-
REVERSE to the staring Gopher-
REVERSE to Tay, veins going up the side of his head like 'Scanners'
TAY ZONDAY
Ughghghgh... My brains...
Tay's head explodes in a glorious blood bath.
WIDE SHOT - Tay's headless body takes some drunken steps with blood still gushing out the neck, then the body finally collapses.
Hitting the floor, the gun goes off and kills the gopher.
Back to the Wide: The boys just stand there, covered in blood and gore.
CARTMAN
Sweet, I think we're next in line now!
