This song was a fun little project whose origin came from a long car journey back from grandparents in Newcastle. It's a parody of one of the big hits from the film The Greatest Showman, written by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul, and originally sung by the fantastic Keala Settle and released in October 2017.

It's a massive anthem and a stirring call to arms - in which the 'freak' assembly of P.T. Barnum's misfits come together to defy baying crowds and celebrate their uniqueness as they march into a bizarre theatre and win over the audience through sheer stridency. Besides nudging the pitch down a few semi-tones (!), we've adapted the subject matter so that the marching 'warriors' are actually the dwindling core of Tory politicians, walking into what is very likely to be a record electoral defeat later in 2024 - and one that is almost entirely self-inflicted. For some background on the latest political context and polling, you can read here: [ Ссылка ]. The song also includes references to freeports, the withdrawl of funding for the creative arts, characters in the movie, and Liz Truss's weird Easter photograph with a lamb. We left in one of many outtakes at the end that amused us massively. Enjoy! Feel free to leave comments, which we'll read, and to join us as a Patreon if you want to see some of the other outtakes in due course! Now switching modes to some original music we're excited about sharing soon.

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LYRICS:

When is the election, you all ask?
Not in May! No way!
‘Cause the whole country’s on its arse
You’d think we’d be ashamed of what has passed
“Run away,” some say
“No one’ll vote the way you are”…but

We don’t get fixated on disgust
We know that there’s no public trust
For we’re notorious!

When the largest polls have us trending down
Not gonna set a date, gonna draw it out
Why give way when we’d lose?
We have no integrity – wait and see
Look out ‘cause here we come
And we’re passing new legislation
“It’s unfair! It’s obscene!”
We make no apologies: we’re Tory

Oh-oh-oh-oh…oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh…oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh

Another by-election loss comes in (eh)
Well, fire away! (oh) ‘Cause these days,
We don’t let the shame sink in (eh, eh)
We are thirsting (woah) for your ridicule
Gaslight champions (we’re impervious)
Yeah, that’s what we’ve become
(yeah, that’s what we’ve become)

Uh, we’re gonna break the NHS
We’re gonna leave the place a mess
Voters are furious!

Have we stopped the boats? Have we ‘got a plan’? (no way, no way)
We never levelled up, only hollowed out (out, out)
We’ll behave how we choose
And abuse democracy - so naïve!
Look out ‘cause we’re not done
And we’re crawling on for the final months
Honours, freeports, and sleaze
We’ll nick Labour policies – we’re Tory

Truss and Johnson (heh)…oh-oh-oh-oh
Truss and Johnson (heh)…oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh
And Rishi!

Yes we’ve broken the Conservatives
(Oh-oh-oh-oh) There’s nothing we’re deserving of
(Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh)

When our sharpest tool’s David Cameron
Our Members spitting blood, or just opting out
Can we face interviews?
Play the fool on live TV? Yessirree!

Look out ‘cause here we come
Though it’s farcical cos the Party’s done
We don’t care how we’re seen
We’ll say stuff we don’t believe.
We’re Tory!

Whenever the Press wanna cut us down (oh-oh-oh-oh)
We’ll send Grant Shapps to drown ‘em out (oh, oh-oh, oh-oh)
We’re like a sewage flood (oh-oh-oh-oh)
Gonna drown them 'em out (oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh)
We’re Tory!

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