TW:mentions of suicide and self-harm


I'll probably delete this video, I just need to get this thing off my chest.

I honestly can't find a reason to stay alive anymore, I'm so exhausted from everything and the suicidal thoughts are getting louder, they don't want to stay silent. Every night I find myself thinking "When will I have the courage to do this? When will I finally be able to feel free?".
My mental health is only getting worse and I'm sure I won't be able to survive the rest of the summer. It's all so frustrating really, my mind is confused, my thoughts are confused and I don't really know how to express my feelings. I really don't know who to talk to about these things, I can't open up to anyone, not even to my psychologist or neuropsychiatrist and this thing really hurts me. I'm literally SCARED to open up and the only way not to explode is to write where I know the people who know me will never read.
Sorry if everything is so confusing, as I said I can't have a clear idea of how I feel. I'm also sorry if I posted this video,I couldn't hold back my thoughts anymore.

(sry for bad English)

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