Fire in the Sky track 04. Thanks to rocketman0739 for providing high-quality versions of these songs.
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[book: Callahan's Bar stories, Spider Robinson]
Lyrics:

There is a bar called Callahan's, it's really quite a place
There's aliens there every night from every world and race
And when the puns start flying, as they do at quite a rate
Not even steel-jawed robots can quite keep their faces straight

Chorus:
Spider, oh Spider, why won't you tell us where
Callahan's is hidden, and we'll do our drinking there

A time traveler comes in each week and buys a couple beers
Hе drinks them down, then taps his belt and promptly disappеars
Next week, same time, he's back again, still potted to the ears
He's been on one long bender for some twenty-thousand years

(Chorus)

There is a guy with funny eyes, his name is Michael Finn
He carries quite an arsenal tucked underneath his skin
His masters had him programmed once to do the whole Earth in
And the only thing that stopped him was a glass of homemade gin

(Chorus)

A frigid-blooded methane breather wandered in one night
And announced to one and all that he was lookin' for a fight
Mike said “I'll have no fighting here in any shape or form!”
And with a single mighty blow, he knocked the fellow...warm?

(Chorus)

A large grey wolf paced to the bar and ordered in a growl
Mike dusted off an old brown jug; he gave a joyful howl
One swallow and there stood a man—'twas quite a trick to pull
But the liquor, it was moonshine, and the bottle, it was full

(Chorus)

Doc Webster, feeling genial, once told us of the day
He mixed chromosomes from vegetables with canine DNA
He crossed Lassie with a canteloupe. Said Mike, “So what'd you get?”
“Why, a melon-collie baby and one hell of a startled vet!”

(Chorus)

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