Gabrielle Union is happily married to Dwayne Wade, but her first marriage to NFL Chris Howard was not exactly a cup of tea for either of them. The 50-year-old actress admitted that she and her ex were not faithful to each other — like, at all.

She was married to the athlete from 2001 until 2006 and treated the union as “such a stupid relationship that should never have gotten out of the dating phase,” on the Armchair Expert podcast with Dax Shepard. “I definitely was not getting Wife of the Year Awards,” Union revealed. “In our first marriage, neither one of us felt like the marriage should get in the way of our dating.” It became retaliation infidelity on both sides and the Being Mary Jane star felt “entitled” to enjoy her own affairs.

“I was like, Oh, that’s what you’re doing?” Union explained of her back-and-forth cheating strategy with Howard. “You’re gonna feel this one.” She eventually came to understand that she was internally missing something within herself and became “horny for validation and having certain kinds of guys like me and want me.” Union added, “[I wanted to] feel like I was worthy and good and valuable and deserving.”

She and Howard sought couples’ counseling where the therapist made a sharp observation about them not having anything in common except an interest in “other people … so why don’t you just go be with other people.” At that point, Union needed to heal herself and not stay in a marriage that was damaging to both of them — it was quite the lesson learned.

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