Lyrics:
It seems today
That all you see
Is violence in movies
And sex on TV

But where are those good old fashioned values
On which we used to rely?

It used to be
A big time star
Was Elegant as Garbo
Or Hedy Lamarr

But now we got whores like Jenny Lopez
You want to curl up and die

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us

Laugh and cry

He's a family guy

When I was young
The songs were fair
With Mister Johnny Mathis
And Sonny and Cher

But now we got Justin Timber-homo

A heartache all gone awry

The classic films
Were works of arts
The images were graceful
The stories were smart

But now we get Matrix Revolution
I'm sorry I know this doesn't rhyme
But what the hell were you Wachowski Brothers thinking?!

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a fella
Sweeter than vanilla
Wholesome as a piece of

Apple pie

He's a family guy!

His smile's a simple delight

He lets me see the boobies on the internet sites

Peter!

He bought my cute little hat

Yeah we should talk about that
(About that! And his hat!)

He's mastered the comedy arts

He says, "Look out Hiroshima!" then casually farts

He's loaded with sexy appeal

And best of all my titties are real. Have a feel

No thank you

I gave it the office

The Brady Bunch
Has got their Mike
And pretty Laura Petrie
Has Dicky Van Dyke
But who around here could fill these loafers?

But here's a happy reply
Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us

Laugh and cry

He's a family guy!

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