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FULL STORY:
I found out when I was young that I can't have any kids. I slept around a lot when I was younger. One of them was a girl I slept with around 10 years ago until I found out not only she is married but she also has a child. I broke up with her as soon as I found out. About a year ago she contacted me and told me I have a child. I reminded her that I can't have any kids but she insisted that the kid has to be mine and kept calling until I agreed to a DNA test just to get rid of her. Turned out that she was cheating on her husband again and he found out, took DNA tests from both kids and found out that the younger one isn't his. I took the test and she is mine. I can't explain how happy I was to know that I have a daughter and how sad I was to know that I missed everything. Her first steps, her first word, everything. He started to act like a jerk and gave her an ultimatum. He would stay with her for their child but he didn't want her affair child. I saw my daughter begging her mom to let her stay and it broke my heart. I got into a fight with him and asked him to have some fcking sympathy for a child that HE RAISED but he didn't change his mind so I took my daughter with me. Kiddo has been living with me for a year now. The first few months were hard but then things got better. However before I took her, I decided to know more about her. I asked her mom and her teachers about her and they all told me that she is perfect. She is quiet, polite and smart, but that is not how she acted with me. I kept thinking what am I doing wrong? Why is the girl that everyone describes as an angel behaving this way? But I couldn't find out.

It was about a month ago that I fcked up. It was a very bad day generally. First kiddo couldn't wake up to go to school because she slept around 4 am. I was so mad at her. She knows she is not allowed to stay up so late. I took her to school and went to work where I had a very bad day and then at the end of the day I received a call from her school asking me to pick her up because she has been suspended for 2 days for bullying a boy. I know the boy. He was no victim. He has been saying racist things to my little girl since day one but still what she had done to him was terrible and wrong. I had to take the rest of the day off and get her. When I got her I found out that she also got a D in her exam. She never got anything other than A when she was with her mom and when I got angry about it she told me to go fck myself. I was fuming. And it wasn't the end of it. We had another fight that night because she refused to clean her bedroom and another one after that, because she wouldn't eat her food because "she doesn't like salad" and another one because it was her turn to wash the dishes (that's her only chore, she has to wash the dishes once a week) I was so tired and if it wasn't enough I got a call from my best friend and coworker to let me know that I screwed up at work by going early and my boss is mad at me. I was so angry I couldn't help venting. I didn't mean a word of what I said but I couldn't help saying it. I told him taking kiddo in was the worst mistake of my life and if only I could send her back to her mom. I turn around and she is standing right behind me with her eyes full of tears. I apologized 1000 times but she was crying so much I don't think she heard me. That's when everything changed. She started to do everything I told her to do. She got A's in all her exams. She was polite and quiet and I hated it. She didn't tell me about her day anymore. She didn't laugh or talk to me much. I put her in therapy. I kept trying to talk to her and cheer her up and get her to behave like she used to until one day she started crying and said: "what do you want from me? I'm a good girl now" I hate myself I miss her. I miss her waking me up in the morning in my days off when she knows I like to sleep more but she wakes me up anyway just to be annoying. I miss her stealing my fries because apparently "she loves fries more than I do". I miss her watching horror movies when I told her she is not allowed to and then coming to my room at night because she thinks Annabelle is coming after her and she wants me to hug her. I miss her telling me she loves me every day I asked her teacher how she is doing at school and she told me she has been perfect lately and that was when it hit me, She was never perfect when she was with her mom, she was depressed. My family hates me and none of them wants to talk to me anymore. My sister is coming to stay with us for a week to cheer her up I tell her I love her every day and apologize but it doesn't work. I fcked up and I don't know how to fix it

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