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Case Study: Helen was dating both Marty and Ryan at the same time. And so far, there’d been no intimacy, no sex, and only a couple of dates with both men. Helen hoped she would develop feelings for either Marty or Ryan at some point in time, making it easier to choose one man over the other. Up until now, however, Helen was still finding it hard to choose between the two men. In terms of looks, Marty was definitely the physically more attractive man. He was in great shape, tall, and naturally handsome. Ryan, on the other hand, was average looking at best.
One day, when Helen was getting ready to see Marty, she thought back to their previous date and remembered how handsome Marty had looked sitting there in the dark, candlelit restaurant—handsome until he had opened his mouth and started complaining about everything and everyone. At first, Helen found it easy to empathize with Marty and she encouraged him to talk more openly about his problems. After all, she had faced similar problems at work, and she knew what it was like to be around colleagues who didn’t appreciate you.
For the next couple of hours, Marty and Helen swapped horror stories. Marty told Helen how his parents had failed to support him in college and how they had “forced him” to change his major from film and television—his one true passion—to business. Again, Helen sympathized with Marty. She remembered how she had wanted to study fashion in college, but her parents had persuaded her to study accounting instead. As Marty gazed across the table, his eyes began to tear. Finally, here was a woman who understood him.
It was only when she got home that Helen began to realize how negative Marty was. She thought about Ryan. He was so different to Marty. He didn’t have a care in the world. He never spoke about the past and never worried about the future. It was as though all he wanted to do in life was have fun. Sure, he wasn’t as handsome as Marty, but his positive, playful attitude more than made up for it. It was at that moment that Helen realized which man she wanted to be with.
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If you want to maintain attraction with a woman, right from the moment you first meet her all the way through to a long-term relationship, then I highly recommend you get a copy of my book Atomic Attraction.
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Trust yourself and trust the process,
Chris Canwell
