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Attraction is something that can be learned; it's not something set in stone.

There's a myth that we're either attractive or we're not -- or that someone can either be attracted to us or not.

In reality, I've found that life's not so simple. It's not that black and white.

Have you ever become attracted to someone who wasn't your type?

That's because attraction has a formula. There's a science to it, which is what I want to go through with you today. I want you to come to believe that attraction is possible to influence.

You can have someone who is constantly attractive in one environment, and you can put them in another environment and they're not.

Have you ever gone out and felt that you were getting so much attention one night, but the next you didn't get any?

This didn't happen because you looked so different on each of the two nights. There are things you can do to change and improve your appearance of course, but there are other factors at play.

Here is the formula you need to know for creating deep and lasting attraction...

1) Visual Chemistry

People think this is just about how you look -- and it's not true. It's about how you're perceived.

It's about how you walk, talk, move, what your body language conveys -- and there's a lot we can do in each of these to influence how attractive we are perceived to be.

2) Perceived Challenge

This is what people are really talking about when they talk about the idea of 'playing hard to get'.

Men want to feel that they are earning you every step of the way. They want to feel that you're attainable, but there are steps they have to go through to earn your attraction.

3) Perceived Value

Perceived value is what you have about you that is really worth something. This might be to do with personality traits that you have, the lifestyle you have -- something that makes a guy think to himself, 'this woman has value to add to my life'.

4) Connection

Connection is when the two of you truly feel like you relate. This comes mostly from understanding.

--'Do I feel understood by this person? And do I understand them?'
--'Do our beliefs, ideas and ways of thinking relate?'

This is what creates connection. And notice that you can have all of the first three components without any connection. That's why connection is such a vital piece in the formula.

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