Lending friends and family money is dangerous and even more dangerous is starting a business with a friend or a family member in good faith.

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1. Changes the Relationship
- In my entire family, I’m one of the youngest ( but also the oldest because I learn from a lot of old people )
- And the first time I ever lent anyone money was my cousin
- I lent him somewhere around $700 to $1000 around four years ago ( 6-7 years older )

Here is why and the facts:
- He had a job but was having a problem staying above water with all the bills ( something about a phone bill I remember)
- And he also had a girlfriend or something like that
- And the idea was, hey I’ll borrow this money from you and pay you back on weekly bases to finish fast ( and he did that for a while )

Then something else:
- He knew I was a photographer at the time ( aka I had a camera and could take pictures )
- And ask me to help him with his wedding and he would pay me
- I did the wedding and sent him the pictures and boom

The results:
- He stopped calling and never paid me the loan or wedding
- When I spoke to his mom, my aunt, she said that she was embarrassed and he was also embarrassed but he just doesn’t have the money
- So it went from me looking up to my older cousin to me just disappointed

Ending:
- He texts randomly every few months or years and tells me his going to pay me back ( but that’s yet to happen )
- We use to speak frequently but now we don’t
- It changes the relationship ( debtor is always a slave to the lender)

2. I recommend you don’t do it ( but do it right if you're going to do it ) and prepare to lose the entire relationship
- You need a contract, text is cool for verbile agreements but they are not enough
- If you are going to lend a family member money you need to have a promissory note ( a contract that declares that the person agrees to pay you and is notarised )

What happens is this:
- When you signed this contract your family member puts in their social security, id, and address and agrees to pay you this money
- And accepts all the consequences if he gets sued
- Now this doesn’t sound like something you do with friends and family does it ( that’s why I say just don’t even lend them money)

The worst that can happen is this:
- They pay you but they are no longer the friend or family member you use to love
- Or they don’t pay you and sue them, and then you’ll have a different type of problem
- It's just best to avoid it overall

3. So What do you do instead
- I have a brother that always have great business ideas and always needs money to do them
- He doesn’t have a job, has 3 kids, and still lives with his mom
- Does the sounds like a good person to lend money to (no), but you might want to lend them money to help them get out of that

Quote: you can't help someone that doesn’t help themselves or doesn’t want to be helped

What I do:
- Whenever he or any family member askes me for my money, which is rarely ( I say I don’t lend people money, and I don’t have extra money but If I do get something I can help you )
- So usually once or twice a year I might send $20 his way or someone else's way
- But this doesn’t change the relationship

But also keep in mind:
- If everything you visit a family, you have to give them money
- Sometimes you just don’t even go because you feel like its something you need to do
- But that’s bs, go and if they ask to say, I just don’t have any money right now ( confrontation is good sometimes )

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